A MAD Heir
by Vladimir Zhivanevskaya
Summary: Plunge into a world of violence, science, and political turbulence! Dr. Claw is tired of his loyal yet hopelessly inept flunkies, and decides to try something new. While spying on his competitors, he sees Jade in action, and decides to "recruit" her. I rated it T because there will most likely be death and some psychological stuff in here, minimal cursing. [Ch. 12: Regroup] is up.
1. IntroChapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own Inspector Gadget (or any associated characters, for that matter), Jackie Chan Adventures, or even the idea for this story (credit goes to Realm9).

I'm not really too familiar with Inspector Gadget, but I looked it up on Wikipedia so I have the gist of the characters. Feel free to correct me on anything out of character and/or etc. One _more _thing…this occurs around season 2, while the dark hand is still strong (as opposed to Valmont the distinguished hobo in the later seasons).

Chapter 1

A Most Diabolical Plot

"Raaaaaaghh!" The metal hand slammed down on the hand carved mahogany desk hard enough to scare the rather scruffy-looking Maine Coon cat laying on it, and the unsettled feline yowled as it nearly fell off. "That damned Inspector! It's bad enough that he continues to foil my plans and elude my hit men, but he insists on mocking me by acting the FOOL!" Settling down a bit, the good bad evil doctor contemplated on his past exploits.

Starting his villainous career at a young age, he had nevertheless risen quickly in the underworld, and soon came to be head of his own organization, M.A.D. Shunning the name given to him by his parents (who would take a villain named George seriously?), he instead took on one he thought befitted a criminal mastermind of his standing, preferring to be known only as "Dr. Claw". He had a knack for all things Machiavellian, and soon his organization had branched out all over the world, involving itself in thievery, embezzling, "protection" services, "import-export", world domination, general pandemonium, and other-less pleasant-endeavors.

Though the exploits of the Infernal Inspector Gadget had hampered his devious plans, it was a far cry from stopping his business cold. In fact, a much larger threat was an organization called "The Dark Hand", led by the influential and wily Valmont. Though the brit could not hope to match him in sheer manpower, his shrewd business dealings had kept Claw from expanding as he liked, and was really getting on his nerves. Speaking of which…

Dr. Claw swiveled his chair, depressing a switch that caused a screen to descend from the ceiling and present itself a few feet from his face. On the screen in the top left corner were the words "_Mobile M.A.D. Spy Camera 3_". Taking a joystick from beneath his desk, Claw maneuvered the camera until he caught sight of what he was looking for. He had been observing the movements of the Dark Hand for a while now, and was becoming more and more intrigued by the events occurring in their city of operations. He had recently received intel that The Dark Hand, indeed Valmont himself, was going to china. Add that to the fact that his contacts in Chinese government had informed him of an American agency's request to run an operation in Guangxi, and one could easily infer that something big was going down, especially since the Chinese agreed almost immediately.

_Guangxi…_

Jade Chan looked on in horror as a giant walking lizard attempted to eat her uncle, not just because she liked Jackie, but for the reason that if he succeeded, there would be no one to stop Shendu (the giant lizard) from releasing a massive army of dragons to ravage and destroy china's mainland. Apparently 900 years ago he had been the tyrannical dictator of china, but the Chinese people were fed up with his rule and, with the help of Lo Pei (a good sorcerer) they revolted and sealed Shendu, turning him into a statue until Valmont released him just yesterday. Of course, there was Uncle, Torhu, and Captain Black along with Section 13, but she had to face facts: once the Demon Sorcerer's legions of dragons had been set free, there was little chance of turning the tide in their favor.

Jade was itching to help, but didn't really see much she could do; even if she went down and helped uncle Jackie unleash the "ancient art of butt-whoop" on Shendu, the Dragon was Immortal thanks to the dog talisman, and with the other twelve he was also stronger, faster, and had more firepower than both of them combined. As she considered this, she saw that Jackie's hands were glowing, and that as he and Shendu were fighting, his would sink his hands into the Demon Sorcerer and remove something, which Jade quickly deduced were talismans. Running down the crumbling walls that surrounded the palace, she ended up right next to Jackie right after he had smashed Shendu into a wall.

"Heya Jackie, you got the ox talisman, cool, huh?"

"Yes, Jade…" her uncle responded in a weary voice, then startled as he realized what he just said. "Wait, Jade?! What are YOU doing…" he petered off "Why do I even bother asking…whoaaaa!" Jackie was cut off as Shendu grabbed him, pinning his arms to his side as he lost most of the items in his pocekts, including the talismans and a flask containing a green fluid. "You may be the strongest of _your_ species, Chan, but compared to me that still makes you an ant!" Shendu began to carry Jackie over to the portal from which he would summon his dragon minions, intending to throw him in and have them rip him limb from limb. Jackie looked on in growing dismay "bad day bad day bad day!"

Jade, swiftly putting two and two together, uncorked the flask and poured a liberal amount of the liquid over her hands. "Hope there isn't an incantation to go with this" she muttered as she ran after the two combatants.

Jackie was in a bit of a pinch. Well, actually, it was more like a bone-crushing grip; he struggled to break free of Shendu's grasp as the Dragon began the chant to free his lesser brethren.

Shendu laughed inwardly as his revenge neared completion. Oh sure, there was still a country to raze, but seeing Chan dead would be much more satisfying. Suddenly he heard a yell from behind, followed by a ripping pain as talismans were torn from his body. "AAAARRGHH" distracted by Jade, Shendu released Jackie, who then grabbed one more talisman before flipping back and landing lightly on his feet.

"Sweet, dog of immortality" Jade taunted cheekily.

"And rat, motion to the motionless" Jackie finished with a smirk.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" Shendu howled despairingly, banished again to a seeming eternity trapped in stone. Fortunately (or perhaps not), this did not prove to be the case.

"You have stopped be today, Chans, but You both know I will rise again, and when I do, I will hunt your clan to the ends of the earth; I will not stop until your lineage has been utterly eradicated and every trace wiped from the face of the earth!"

"I know" replied Jade, "which is why I'll make sure you don't have the chance!" Grabbing the dragon talisman from where it lay on the ground, Jade squeezed until she felt the raw power fuse with her being. Before Jackie could stop her, she blasted the stone Dragon with a powerful blast from her hand, leaving nothing but dust and stone shards behind.

"_Jade_" Her uncle said sternly "That was-" Jackie never got to finish that sentence as the palace began to fall apart around them. "Never mind, let's just get out of here."

_Meanwhile, at the legion of doom…_ (Sorry about that, I just couldn't help myself).

Dr. Claw could barely believe his eyes; a 900+ year old immortal demon sorcerer with the powers of the twelve zodiac animals had just been routed by an 11-year-old girl. Now, personally, he shared the sentiments of Jackie, in that he didn't like to get mixed up in magic. However, the girl…he always had a need for new recruits, and this one looked…promising.

Claw pressed a button on his phone that put him straight to his secretary's office: "Doris, I have a prospect for a new recruit; put surveillance on a Jade Chan, in San Francisco. Have the team meet with Ninja and come up with a plan to abduct the subject-remind them that the utmost discretion is necessary."

He chuckled mirthlessly, the shadows of the room hiding his face from view. His cat, however, had a smile that could curdle blood…

[End Chapter 1]


	2. Chapter 2

Fact: I don't own Inspector Gadget, Jackie Chan Adventures, or the car in the parking light with its headlights on.

Just btw…for story-line purposes, Shendu has not possessed Valmont, but some other poor schmuck instead.

Chapter 2

A Curious Occurrence

Jade was not in the best of moods. Ever since that little "Queen of the Shadowkhan" incident, everyone in the know had been acting like she had the plague or something. She had noticed extra security around when she was at Section 13-apparantly Captain Black was still sore about having his base compromised. Even Jackie would flinch sometimes when she caught him unawares, though he would cover it up afterwards by saying that she just startled him.

It was so unfair; it wasn't like it was _her_ fault that a fake tattoo happened to be a conduit for the forces of evil, was it?

Only Uncle seemed to be relaxed around her (or at least as relaxed as Uncle can be), assuring Jade that with the tattoo gone, her innate good chi had overcome the dark force within her, leaving nothing but remnants behind.

Guarantees aside, Jade was worried. She had told her uncles that she didn't remember anything, but she had been an unwilling participant for the entire event. It was invasive, like a cold liquid injected straight into the heart. From the outside, the transformation was quick; internally Jade had fought for the control of her own body, and had tried to limit the fallout as the darkness consumed her. She stopped herself from killing a classmate, and later captured and imprisoned the agents of section 13 instead of what was originally planned for them. She had lied because she couldn't talk about it, couldn't bear revisiting her worst nightmare. They wouldn't understand, anyways.

_"Just think about something else, Jade."_ She thought to herself. Moaning about the past so much wasn't going to do her any good, the present was in higher demand. Sighing, she hiked onwards towards her school, dreading the boring classes and the invariable taunting of her "friend" Drew. "_I should have shown him the shadowkhan when I had the chance, I bet that would knocked him down a peg."_ shaking the disturbing thought from her head, the young Chan went on her way, wondering how she could get out of yesterday's homework assignment. Jade was interrupted from her musings as her body dived forward a split second after hearing the tell-tale whistling sound of something being flung her way.

Dodging the projectile, she thanked fate for those life-and-death encounters with malevolent puppet ninjas that had refined her reflexes to the point where evasion had become instinctual. "_Geez, talk about a silver lin-" _Jade's thoughts were interrupted as she was forced to perform a quick twist and catch two of the objects in her backpack. Looking closer, she noticed that the objects in question were darts, much less fatal than hira-shuriken, but obviously fired with similar ill-intent. Deciding that now was a good time to get the hell out of dodge, Jade backed up and turned, only to run right into a rather buff-looking guy in a passable ninja costume.

Before she could react, the ninja whipped a gun around and shot her in the chest. Pain exploded through her body, not even giving her time to scream before she slumped to the ground. As her consciousness faded, she managed to croak out "Jackie, help…"

_The 7-11 across the street, 30 seconds ago:_

Finn MacAulay was purchasing a Big Gulp at a 7-11 on his day off. Despite being an Enforcer for the Dark Hand, the most prominent criminal organization on the west coast, the Irish man had simple tastes, and would enjoy his ridiculous beverage relaxing at his apartment, catching up on the latest NCIS episodes. As he was walking out of the store, he saw Jackie Chan's niece strolling by. She usually popped up wherever Chan was, and he sometimes seemed as surprised as they were. Finn thought about scaring her, but decided it wasn't worth the trouble. It was his day off, and besides that, messing with children was…childish.

Shrugging, he made to leave, but was stopped by a strange sight. The Chan girl suddenly jumped forward and twisted hurriedly as a shadowkhan…no, a man in a ninja costume came up behind her. Finn looked on in astonishment as the man waited for her to turn around, and then hit her in the heart with a Taser. Ducking behind a parked car, Finn watched as the girl was bundled up and thrown into the back of an unmarked sedan, which drove off at a legal pace. Finn stood up straight, grinning. "Now, this should keep Chan off of our backs for a while." Now he was in a splendid mood. "I guess I should call Valmont…nah, he would probably ask why I didn't think of it first. Well, what Valmont doesn't know won't hurt him, I suppose" Humming a tune from _GoodFellas_, Finn sauntered off home.

_Section 13_

Jackie Chan was exhausted and slightly annoyed. All he wanted was a normal, dull life as an archaeologist, dusting away at artifacts rich in history and culture; instead he spent most of his time fighting demons and multi-national criminal organizations armed with mystical powers from taking over the world. After his previous escapade, however, Jackie knew that he would have a brief respite before being called up on some other crazy emergency requiring his (and Uncle's) unique qualifications. Settling down contentedly, Jackie began immersing himself in some freelance work, namely deciphering some texts for the AsianArt Museum (an actual museum in San Francisco, just with a deplorably unimaginative name. looks pretty cool though.). Though some would decry his profession as tedious, he thoroughly enjoyed translation-it kept him up to date on his ancient dialects, and he enjoyed the sense of accomplishment he gained from completing one successfully.

Halfway through a tablet describing the properties of a certain type of clay used for pottery, Jackie was interrupted by a phone call. Glancing at the caller I.D., Jackie flipped open his phone, long years of experience causing him to hold it a few inches away from his ear.

"Jac_kieeeee_" the loud, abrasive voice of his uncle screeched out of the phone.

"Yes, uncle?" Jackie replied tentatively.

"You are _teeer_rible guardian, Uncle is ashamed at you"

"What do you mean, Uncle?"

"Wha-aat? You do not know? Jade did not show up to school today. Uncle got angry call from Jade's teacher. Why do you not look after your niece properly? Uncle does notwant to be bothered when Uncle is doing research!"

"I'm sorr-" Jackie's uncle hung up before his nephew had time to reply. Jackie wasn't really worried-Jade could usually take care of herself-but he was disappointed, having thought that Jade was becoming more responsible lately. Obviously, he had been mistaken. Jackie shook his head, musing, "Jade, what are you up to now…"

[End Chapter 2]

Hey, I decided to add this here just because. If you actually read up to this point, then please, for the love of SCIENCE! post a review. I want to know if I'm any good at this story-writing business.


	3. Chapter 3

First off, sorry I took so long to update...I had writers block, and this chapter was harder to write b/c of all the dialogue & etc. it is a bit longer though, so whatever.

Okay, so it seems like this story is actually getting some views (on the second chapter, so people like it enough to continue), so I suppose that a little "speech" is in order. I will not update on a set schedule, because I have terrible time management issues, but seeing as I write fairly quickly (30 wpm lol) and the planning stage doesn't take very long, you can expect at least one chapter every two weeks (this is bare minimum I'm talking here). If you have ideas or suggestions, criticisms or complaints, feel free to voice (or in this case, type) them.

Oh, and Gorin is Dr. Claw's surveillance expert. I just made him up b/c most of Dr. Claw's actual henchmen are, well, lame. (The Yodeler? Really? Come on now.) Also, a kilogram (kg) is about 2.2 pounds (lbs), for those of you who are, like myself, from the backwards nation of America (yeah, go ahead, convert 3783ft into miles). One _more_ thing: the actor who plays Ninja on one of the Inspector Gadget movies is an Australian stuntman, so I guess that's what he'll be.*shrugs*

I apologize for any bad puns, and I do not own any show/characters used in the story, except those I made up, even though there is no way that I could possibly prove it in a legal court of law (as opposed to all those illegal courts out there).

Chapter 3

Bad Day…

Jade rolled over, groaning. "I'm up, I'm u-agh!" She inhaled sharply through her teeth as a massive pounding pressure assaulted her. Clutching her head, she curled in on herself, whimpering slightly. _Every_where hurt. Gradually she became aware of voices cutting through the haze in her mind.

"…s not rated for use on individuals under 40 kilos. You could have killed her!" The man speaking was obviously exasperated.

"Shut up, Gorin. You've done your job, why are you still here?"

"My job is to observe the subject and the subsequent retrieval thereof. I am also to make sure that there are no damages inflicted due to…incompetency."

"Tch. She is young and strong; it will take more than that to kill her. Besides," the Australian man shrugged, "you yourself said in your report that she has a knack for escaping, and I thought that it would be better if we didn't drag out the op."

Jade opened her eyes to a bleary veil that slowly dispersed as she looked around. They were in a warehouse of sorts, and the two men who were talking seemed to be waiting for something. Thinking she might be able to sneak off, she started to get up, only to notice that she was immobilized in such a cliché manner, she would have laughed had the situation not been so bleak.

"Hey, what's the big idea? Kidnapping me in the middle of the day? When my uncle gets his hands on you, you're gonna wish you never messed with the Chan clan!"

The big guy dressed in black just glanced over at her and grinned. "No one will be able to help you, but you'll soon notice that. You're coming with me to see the boss."

"I'd love to, but I can't. You know…the ol' _ball and chain_." Jade pointed to the absurd apparatus attached to her ankle. The man's face contorted first into confusion, then annoyance. She could have sworn that the other man held back a snicker. An unmarked Kidnappers Van™ pulled up, and Jade's smirk vanished Ninja came over and easily picked her up, ball included, and climbed into the vehicle. As soon as Gorin entered they were on their merry way.

Jade had no idea where they were going, or even how long they had been traveling for. The back of the van she was in was disconnected from the front, so she could see out the windows; she had no watch (she didn't know what had happened to the Melvin Moose watch she had, she assumed that it was either lost in the attack or taken from her while she was unconscious.), and any attempts at conversing with her captors turned out to be fruitless. She was fatigued and hungry, so to compensate her body drifted in and out of consciousness to keep her energy reserves from falling any lower.

Eventually they arrived at their destination, and Jade was jolted (this time without actual electricity) from her uneasy doze by the sound of the van door slamming open. Ninja hopped down, holding onto the metal ball and in conjunction, Jade. Forced to either follow the large Aussie or be dragged, Jade jumped down and began to follow him into a large, castle-like structure. It practically screamed evil villain, and she wondered just _who_ this "big boss" was.

When they came to the door, a butler opened it for them before Ninja could even knock. With just a nod, the manservant led them through large, carpeted hallways to a pair of thick, oak double doors (Jade remembered memorizing different types of wood for a merit badge; the reward, a trip with Uncle Jackie to Mexico). The butler pushed a button on the intercom outside and spoke into it.

"Dr. Claw, sir, Ninja is back, along with Gorin and the girl." The man then stepped to the side as the doors swung inward with only a slight hum.

"Come in." said a deep, gravelly voice that reminded Jade of a demon sorcerer. She hesitantly trailed behind Ninja as he and Gorin strode quickly in.

"So," the same gravelly voice continued. "you were successful in retrieving the Chan girl. I am surprised that you proved yourself to be so capable, Ninja." Ninja puffed out his chest, proud of the apparent praise. "Gorin, were there any…complications?" Ninja visibly stiffened, but as the man was facing away from them in his rather high-backed swivel-chair, Jade wasn't sure if he noticed or not.

"…No, sir." Ninja relaxed, and Jade thought that now might be the time to try and get some answers.

"Okay, so who are you and what do you want with me? Do you work for Valmont? Or maybe another Demon Sorcerer? And what's up with the shiny metal arm? Is that the new accessory all the top-tier criminals are rocking now? Also, just to let you know, medieval castles went out of style like six-_hun_dred years ago. And no, it doesn't count as "retro"." Jade stared at then back of his chair. "You would at least seem more intimidating if not for the fact that you won't even face me. What, you having a bad hair day or something?" She stopped and glared at him, catching her breath (those exaggerated arm gestures can really take it out of you).

Dr Claw swiveled around to face her, though his visage remained in shadow, concealing the small smirk and raised eyebrow there. He was genuinely surprised at her blasé attitude.

"Are you not scared, girl? You are my captive, not a guest at a tea party."

"Oh, please; it's not like this is the first time some wannabe villain has had me kidnapped. You really expect me to be scared of a guy with a trash nabber for a hand?" Truth be told, she _was_ a little scared; these guys seemed to be a lot more organized than Valmont's bumbling enforcers. That, and the guy with the metal claw was intimidating. _"Glad I have a good poker face."_ She thought, relieved.

Claw decided that, though the semi-witty repartee was amusing, it was time to get down to business. The girl bluffed so well that, if not for the high-tech lie detector he had installed in the room (so he was paranoid, you would be too-were you the leader of an evil organization), he would not have known she was actually extremely anxious about the situation.

"Oh, but you should be. No one is coming to rescue you-you were taken without a trace." She stared at him, unfazed. "You seem to thinking that your Uncle, the chi wizard, will simply cast a locator spell and then this entire place will be swarming with section 13 agents." Smiling inwardly, he drove the final nail into the coffin. "Sadly for you, though I don't like to mess with magic, that does not mean that I know nothing about it. I had a freelance wizard cook up a...well, he called it an 'aura block', and what it does is hide you from prying magical eyes. I had it cast on you while you were unconscious." Claw paused for a moment, reveling in the utter despair he saw in the girl's eyes before continuing. "The reason I had you brought here is to have you work for me. You see, though I have many loyal henchmen, few can be entrusted with tasks requiring them to think for themselves. Therefore, I am always on the lookout for possible recruits. You came to my attention as I was spying on Valmont; both your physical and mental abilities show much promise. So, what do you say, want to join M.A.D.?"

Jade was flattened by the one-armed man's sudden proposal; what kind of guy kidnaps you and then asks you to work for him? The thing was, if he had asked her just months ago, she might have actually said yes, but her recent exploit into her dark side had caused her too much trouble-she didn't think that Jackie would even let her leave their place again if he found out she was part of a criminal organization.

"No way, creep. I'll never work for you, so you can just forget it. I can see myself out." She started inching towards the door.

Claw chuckled ominously. "You honestly didn't think that I would just let you go, did you? After all that effort to get you here? No...you _will_ work for me, whether you want to or not. Take her to the reeducation room." Ninja nodded, picked up the iron ball, and left, leaving Jade to follow close behind. Jade wasn't too sure what this "reeducation room" was (she was still in school), but she had a feeling that she was about to know it intimately. Deep down, she knew that something like this would happen, because one can only escape so many dangerous situations before their luck ran out, but she thought that at least Jackie would be there to say some sappy line like "everything's going to be okay". She really needed that right now.

Eventually, they arrived at a room that contained a chair (restraints included, no rope burns, yay.) a television (72 inch HD plasma), and a short old man with thick glasses who, upon seeing Jade, pasted a seriously creepy smile on his face.

"Jade, so good to see you! I am the Professor, and I am here to make sure your mind is set" here he smirked a little bit "to helping M.A.D. achieve our goals."

Jade suddenly realized what was happening: they were going to try and brainwash her (whaddya know, T.V. _is_ informative)! She glanced around futilely for a means of escape, knowing there was none. Under her breath, she repeated a familiar complaint. "Bad day..."

[End Chapter 3]

Alright, so I am not rereading this when I post it, I'm just going for it. Any mistakes will be dealt with later. This chapter dragged like molasses (on a cold day), but in the future things will be much smoother. I already have the first part of the next chapter planned out, so it should be done by the end of the week. No promises, but Penny will probably be in the next chapter; if she isn't, then Chief Quimby should be in there, at least. I don't know what to do with Gadget...I could either have him team up with Jackie, have Valmont trick him into helping him (taking out some MAD operation would be helpful for Valmont), or not do anything with him at all (he'll still show up, just won't play an avid role). Comment/PM me if you care.

Just one thing I need input on: should I have both JCA and IG in present day, then go into the future, or have the present JCA be the past for IG, so that when Jade ages up characters in th IGverse would be their present ages (I'm leaning towards both being present day so I can use more characters before the time-jump). When I say "present day" I mean that the characters are the age that they are in the cartoons (Jade is 11? and Penny is early teens...14? I'll google it to be sure).

Review please! And sorry for all the non-story words (over 400), just had a lot to say.


	4. Chapter 4

I'm writing on a laptop that has word 2003 (good times, good times), which means that I get the paperclip guy for company! Woot! I had to do some Microsoft Magic to get him back, b/c he was disabled. I don't know why he gets such a bad rap; he's never done me wrong.

I added the bold to make it more readable. You're welcome. Also, I tried to make line breaks using ~ (n-yays), but it keeps messing it up on edit document mode. Whatever, guess I'll be using pound signs until I find something better.

Chapter 4

Blank Slate

The Professor was nervous; Dr. Claw had just called him in to check on his progress, and the wizened old man had little to show him. Entering the chamber, he coughed lightly to announce his presence.

"So, Professor, I assume you have good news for me?" There was a slight edge to his voice, causing his henchman to cringe a little.

"Well…not exactly, Dr. Claw. The girl has a strong will, one of the reasons you chose her, and the program doesn't seem to be taking. We even tried regressive therapy to find out what we could use against her."

"…and?" Dr. Claw urged the frail man to get to the point.

"Um, ah…right. She has another…" He gesticulated agitatedly "I guess you could call it a separate personality buried deep within her psyche. Whenever we get close to something important, it appears and throws off the hypnosis like water."

Dr. Claw frowned (though the Professor couldn't see it, of course). "Are you telling me that after six weeks of psychological conditioning, you have failed to overpower the mind of a mere child?" Actually, Claw was somewhat pleased; if the child had broken easily, then that meant that she could just as easily be turned back. Instead she had beaten off the intrusions into her mind, meaning that once she was turned, she would be loyal to the core. He shook off his previous bad mood, glad now that his instincts were as sharp as ever.

"Tell me, Professor, what can be done to fix this problem."

"Sir. I could continue with the current program, but that might take months before we see real results. The girl has an uncanny sense of identity, breaking her down would be a…torturous process."

"Then what do you suggest?"

"A total mind wipe and information overload, Dr. Claw. This is a drastic measure, but one I think is necessary for the successful completion of the project." Before Claw could speak again, the Professor answered his unspoken question. "Don't worry, sir, there will be no detriment to her logic or reasoning faculties; it's just that she may end up being a bit bland, emotion-wise. Memories do a person make, you know." He ended his spiel, deferring to Dr. Claw to make the final decision.

"What's the time frame?"

"Five months before basic training and indoctrination is complete, sir."

"Get it done."

Nodding, the Professor left the room, a sly grin on his face. He couldn't wait to take the snarky attitude out of the little brat. Few had ever resisted his techniques; those that had were now dead, certain people that M.A.D. either needed to have in their pocket, or be rid of. He had conveniently forgotten to tell Dr. Claw that the procedure had only a 56% success rate; those who survived quite often went insane. He really didn't care if the girl died, and besides, his pride was more important than the safety of a possible recruit. Humming to himself, he went off to prepare the procedure.

################################################################################################

Images flashing through her skull, too quick to recognize individually. Head hurting, she wished she could close her eyes, but they were held open by a strange device. Later, the T.V. was gone, and she tried to sleep, but every time she was close, she would be shocked or pricked, or a loud grating noise would jolt her wide awake. Now she is in a cell, but there is no light, no sound, nothing. Just herself and her dark thoughts to keep her company. There is a clanking sound, and light glares blindingly on her huddled form. Shying away from the light, she hears a soothing voice telling her to just give in, promising her good food and a warm bed if she agrees to work for M.A.D. She wants to accept, so badly does she want to that it's almost a primal urge, but something inside her keeps her going, shouting words of defiance. The pure rage she feels at being ordered around burns away the pangs of hunger, blocks out the smells of meat and cheese, of freshly baked bread and stewed vegetables, forcing down the small amount of cold gruel she is allowed to have. With her mind so battered, her darker side has more influence, and She will _not_ give in to mere humans.

Jade opens her eyes, suddenly wide awake. She shudders involuntarily, not just because it's so darn cold, but because she can feel that small evil inside her clawing to the top, battling for dominance. Good Chi is replenished with good feelings and optimism, but under the current circumstances, she could almost feel it withering away.

You can understand the concept of sensory deprivation, but you cannot truly know it until you have experienced it. It is a void, a blacker-than-black obscurity that makes your eyes useless. You can hear nothing but the beat of your own heart; anything you say falls into dead silence. There is no comfort in warmth, the air bitter and stale. No human contact. Any one of these is bad enough on its own, but together they create an emptiness that drags on your very being.

"C'mon Jade, don't let a dark, cold, sound-muffled room get you down." She had taken up talking to herself; sure, she may be going a little crazy, but better that than to give up! She was a Chan, and they always came out on top. She just hoped this wasn't one of those rare exceptions to the rule. She winced when she heard a loud clunk, and then put her hands up to shield her eyes as the door opened onto a dimly lit hallway. Well, to her it was like the freaking Las Vegas strip, because she had been in complete darkness for what seemed to her an eternity.

It's Ninja and that Professor guy. With nary a word, the wannabe shinobi roughly grabs her by the arm and practically carries her down the corridor. She would have tried to fight him if she had the energy, but sitting in a cold room all day with nothing but thin barley meal to eat doesn't do wonders for your health (surprise, surprise).

She expected to go to the T.V. room, or perhaps be deprived of sleep again, but what she got instead was much worse. Ninja strapped her to a chair while the Professor put some weird metal hat on her head, adjusting it so that it covered her eyes.

"Hey, what's the big Idea here? What's going on?" The Professor laughed, hearing the note of fear in her voice.

"Oh, just a little something that will…heheh…clear your head." The Professor tittered maniacally. "[insert maniacal tittering here]."

"Ooookaaaayy…" Jade was a tad unsettled, to say the least. Maniacal laughter was a given for evil people enacting their malevolent machinations, but tittering? That was certifiably insane! She was seriously fearing for her life at this point. Whatever Professor nutjob was doing to her, she was going to make sure it didn't work. However, she could not have steeled herself for what came next.

It started with bright, seemingly erratic strobe lights. She scrunched up her eyes against it, but it did little to block out the intense burst of color. Then an extremely annoying throbbing sound blasted into her ears, the reverberations shaking her to her core. To top it all off, an electric charge coursed through her body, not causing excruciating pain, but enough to make her _very_ uncomfortable. She started writhing around in the chair, her movements restricted by the leather straps on her arms and legs. She stopped when she heard a voice of indeterminate age and gender, all she knew was that it was strangely echoic (apparently the proper way to say 'echo-y'). **"You have no past, you have no one, you are nobody. You have no past, you have no one, you are nobody."** It kept on repeating the same thing, like a mantra.

What Jade didn't know was that this was a subliminal message designed to repress one's memories entirely. Subliminal messaging, for those who don't know, works on the subconscious, which, although it has massive computation power, is mostly like a computer, acting on the wishes of whatever controls it (in most cases the conscious mind). Subliminal messages bypass the conscious mind and act directly on the subconscious mind, like a hacker accessing your computer without your knowledge. Like hypnosis, however, there are limits to it. It cannot, for example, cause the brain to just shut down, that would be like downloading more RAM, it just doesn't work that way. Okay, now back to the story…

Jade couldn't get the stupid voice out of her head…it felt like the words were trying to change who she was.

**"You have no past, you have no one, you are nobody."**

"No, I'm Jade Chan. I have Jackie, Uncle, Torhu, Captain Black, and the J-team."

**"You have no past, you have no one, you are nobody."**

"In the J-team there's Me, Viper, Jackie, Torhu, and El Toro, and together we kick butt!" That's funny; didn't El Toro have a sidekick or something? Oh well, they must not have been that important.

**"You have no past, you have no one, you are nobody."**

"Me and Jackie fought and destroyed a demon-sorcerer who was going to take over china! Yeah, his name was…um…" It was right on the tip of her tongue…"whatever. We beat him, and then-"

**"You have no past, you have no one, you are nobody."**

"That's not true! I have parents, in Hong Kong! They sent me to live with uncle Jackie!" Wait…did she have parents? She thought she did, but she couldn't recall their faces…

**"You have no past, you have no one, you are nobody."**

"Stop it! Please! Stop!" She could sense her memories fading away, swirling together as if going down a drain.

**"You have no past, you have no one, you are nobody."**

"I…I live in section 13, a secret branch of the government, with Jackie! The school I go to, there's a kid named Drew who…who is my friend." That's not right, is it?

**"You have no past, you have no one, you are nobody."**

'"I have an uncle whose name is Uncle." Now that must be wrong, Uncle isn't a name, it's a title! Something must be really wrong with her, if only she could-

**"You have no past, you have no one, you are nobody."**

"Valmont…statue…Moose World…shadowkhan…Pan'Ku box...talismans…" Jade struggled to hold onto her memories, but they fell through her grasp like sand…

**"You have no past, you have no one, you are nobody."**

"SHUT UP!"

**"You have no past, you have no one, you are nobody."**

"I. AM. JADE. CHAAAAN!" She screamed out the words, defying the inexorable pull of the voice.

**"You have no past, you have no one, you are nobody."**

"No, I have a name. Jade, uh…" Whispering now; she can't recall what her family name is. Does she have a family?

**"You have no past, you have no one, you are nobody."**

"Jade…my name is Jade." She refuses to admit defeat.

**"YOU HAVE NO PAST, YOU HAVE NO ONE, YOU ARE NOBODY!"** The words thunder in her head as pain engulfs her body, as if to drive in a point.

"My name…Ngh…is Jade." She no longer attaches any significance to the name, just that it is hers, and nothing will take that from her. Even as she says it, the pain increases, till her body can no longer sustain it, and everything goes black.

################################################################################################

The girl wakes up, confused. She is on a bed in a small, plain room. The window overlooks a landscape that is obscured by a heavy storm. Lightning strikes close enough to hear it strike the ground. She goes to the window and opens it, reveling in the power of nature's fury. She feels…odd. She doesn't know how she got here; she doesn't even know where "here" is. Looking around, she sees a mirror, and realizes that she doesn't know what she looks like. Walking over, she sees a short girl with hollow eyes and bedraggled, greasy hair that brushes her shoulders. She turns when she hears the door opening. An old man with rather thick glasses walks in, carrying a tray piled with food. She hadn't realized how hungry she was until she saw the food; it's all she can do not to throw herself at it, but she stops herself because the man starts talking.

"Ah, you're up, you must be hungry." Setting the tray on the bed, the man chuckles good-naturedly, "Well, go on then, dig in!" Needing no further prompting, the girl rushes over and begins devouring the well-prepared meal.

"You had a pretty nasty fall there, you remember what happened?" The man inspected her closely, watching for…something. Swallowing, the girl answers.

"Actually, I don't remember anything. At all." She scratched the back of her head in a familiar manner.

"I was afraid of this. You have acute amnesia." The man sighed. "Well, your name is-"

"Jade." The girl cut in.

The man seemed startled. "What?"

"My name. It's Jade." She didn't know how, but she knew without a doubt that she spoke the truth.

"Ah…yes, of course…" A shadow flitted over the man's face before being quickly replaced by his usual placid demeanor. "Can you think of anything else? Do you know where you are? How old you are? Your last name, even?" The man stopped as Jade just shook her head.

_"Damn" _he thought, "_almost gave me a heart attack! Well, so much for Xiao Monachino."_ He mused, abandoning the back-story he had painstakingly created hours earlier. This would work out fine, she didn't remember anything else, and that's what truly mattered.

"Well, this is M.A.D. headquarters. You are Jade Nishimori, an agent-in-training. You had no family, so Dr. Claw was kind enough to take you in and let you become part of his organization. You had an accident in the training grounds yesterday; you fell off the roof. He smiles wryly "I guess your reflexes weren't quite enough to survive a 40-foot fall unscathed. Now that you've lost your memories, you'll have to start your training over again. Once you're feeling up to it, of course."

Jade thought about this. The man seemed to be telling the truth-she had no reason to distrust him, and the fall _would _explain why she hurt just about everywhere. Honestly, she didn't really care about her past, she just wanted to finish her food, and maybe see if there were seconds to be had. Cleaning off her plate, she chugged the last of her orange juice and slammed the cup down, then turned to look at him.

"Let's go." Still smiling, the man led her away through the castle.

[End Chapter 4]

Wow, okay...that went quickly. I was writing Penny in, but I realized about halfway that I would just have to make a new chapter, or at least a continuation. Hopefully this makes up for the last chapter. I listened to Dubstep radio on Pandora for most of it, so I don't know how that affected my writing...whatever. Oh, and I got Xiao Monachino from the random name generator (push that sucker up to 99 and see what you get). If you think any part was off, just tell me, and I'll see what I can do (Burn Notice, anyone?).

Next chapter: what Penny does in her spare time, and Jade starts her training (if I get that far). Also, Chief Quimby makes an appearance? (I don't know either).

If you review I'll put up a cool science fact next chapter! The recipe for my delicious bacon burgers and how to make juicy chicken! The meaning of life! You decide!


	5. Chapter 5

Apologies for the late arrival...

I hope you appreciate how much thought is put into my chapter titles. They are both witty (at least in my opinion) and a foreshadowing of what to expect in the chapter. I think that I'm getting better at it. Okay, so in this chapter, there is a lot of back-story stuff, but it will lay the groundwork for future plotlines; this will hopefully pave the road in advance, leaving no plot holes to stumble upon later.

Fact: I do not own JCA, IG, and am in no way affiliated with inno-motion (though I would buy their chair if I had the money, but it's over eight grand, so probably not going to happen). Also: Stieg Larsson who? I don't know what you're talking about. Any resemblance to the HackerRepublic is purely coincidental.

Oh, and asterisks (*) refer to an explanation at the end, so just scroll down a bit if you want to know.

I used a different, computer-looking font (virinda) but it didn't come up on here. I also used some greater-than signs, but those apparently don't come up either. Oh well.

Chapter 5

The qualm before the storm

_Metro__ City__ Suburbs_

Penny sat back in her oddly comfortable office chair (It was a LimbiC®, hence the odd part). Seeing as she spent five hours minimum a day on her computer, it was only reasonable to have a comfortable working environment. And work she did. Between homework and helping her uncle Gadget, it was surprising that she got anything done. She had a bit of a name for herself online, both as a hacker and a software-manipulating genius. She had no idea why, but computers came easily to her, like breathing to normal people.

Not that she didn't work at it; she spent most of her free time keeping up to date with her online community. The hacker world had few prejudices; your age, gender, race, and social class were not even considered. Your skills spoke for themselves. Penny had been in a certain group, Eccentric Daemon, for a couple years now. It consisted of individuals who used their distinctive expertise to thwart corrupt companies, associations, and governments; receiving in exchange the knowledge that they did something good, as well as whatever they could rip them off for.

Though she was averse to stealing, she recognized that money gets things done, and it's not like they used the money they got unwisely. They had upgraded to the latest tech, and one of their members had set up a four terabyte cloud drive, enough to store all their programs and files for the foreseeable future. After they had all contributed to the ease of access and security of the drive, it was actually extremely useful; even though there were only twenty people in the group, they had filled up over half of the drive with pet projects, programming, and whatever else they deemed useful/interesting.

Anything they didn't spend, they placed in a joint account that any member could use to fund their latest idea. Penny didn't dip into it often-she mostly did software, not hardware-but recently she had been working on an assignment for WRmTech (she regularly accepted jobs from the request board that she found interesting) with Root Grapefruit, another member of the group, and they had been eating up resources like a steam engine ate coal. Over 40,000 lines of code, hundreds of assorted components, and they weren't even half done.

Of course, being that they _were_ hackers, they used handles. Hers was Unlucky Magician; she had received it around the same time she joined, and she would rather not relive that unsavory experience. Companies usually didn't mind that they were "grey hats"-they paid for a service, and that's exactly what they got.

When Penny had started out, she had no concept of the amount people would pay to protect/upgrade their systems, and was feeling a bit overwhelmed until she was asked to join Eccentric Daemon by the founder. She was given advice and support, and had proved herself to be an asset to the group after helping clean up that Powalski fiasco. Penny was snapped out of her reminisces when she heard a ding, pulling her eyes towards the bottom of the screen where a chat icon flashed. Clicking on it, she smiled when she saw who it was.

Mephistopheles: So, how's that new "spell" coming along?

Unlucky Magician: Don't even ask.

Mephistopheles: Well, maybe I can cheer you up. You know that info you wanted? I found it; had to do a little legwork, but I won't charge you extra.

Unlucky Magician: Seriously? That was fast. What did you do, waterboard someone?

Mephistopheles: …no.

Unlucky Magician: …

Mephistopheles: What?

Penny just shook her head. Mephistopheles, the surprisingly affable founder of Eccentric Daemon, lived up to the soubriquet, engaging in some rather questionable tactics to achieve his goals. Despite his peculiarities, however, he was a trustworthy friend.

Unlucky Magician: *sigh* whatever, forget it. I need to go review that info and then check on M.A.D.'s activity.

Mephistopheles: It seems like old Claw Crane hasn't tried to take over the world in a while. You worried he's up to something?

Unlucky Magician: Yeah, I am. Usually it seems like he's made it a personal mission to at least _try_ for world domination every other Thursday, but he's been off the radar for two months now. Now that I have the access node address you got for me, I can finally see what's going on by forcing my way in with an SSH through the M.A.D. sub-net.

Mephistopheles: Smart. I would've gone in using a DDoS attack, but you know the protocol better than I do. Stay safe, little wizard; I would hate to tell RG that he has to finish that WRmTech project all by himself.

Unlucky Magician: Thanks, Mephisto. That reminds me, I was supposed to hook up with RG in an hour. Cover for me, will you?

Without waiting for a reply, she closed out the chat and opened up the small file she had just received. It was very organized, and even had an index; typical Mephistopheles style. Perusing the scant amount of information, Penny frowned. It wasn't that Claw was laying low; it was almost as if he were…preoccupied, allowing his personnel more autonomy than usual. She had to find out what he was planning, because whatever it was, it probably did not bode well for the general populace.

Searching for the access node, Penny let out an exasperated breath when she discovered that it was a closed network; she would have to hack into it on-site. Shutting the lid to her laptop, she hopped off her chair, stuffed it and a few other choice items into her computer bag, and left the room, hanging the bag securely over her shoulder. Walking through the kitchen on her way out, she waved to her uncle, who was reading the paper…upside down.

"Hey, uncle Gadget, what's up?"

Her uncle, instead of lowering the paper, as would be expected, her oddball uncle instead called out: "Go-Go Gadget Neck!" and his head appeared three feet higher than it normally was, supported as it was by a telescoping piece of metal.

"Hey there, Penny. Leaving?"

"Just going out for a bit."

At this statement, the Inspector's normally cheery look faded a bit.

"I was just reading the 'missing persons' page. You should be careful; apparently a girl just about your age was abducted in broad daylight on her way to school! Don't forget: stranger danger!" He twirled his white-gloved finger in the air at this last part, pointing at nothing in particular to emphasize his statement.

Penny stood there for a moment, befuddled. She loved her uncle, and he felt the same for her-of that there was no doubt-but for him to exhibit a nagging parental attitude was extremely rare, to the point that she couldn't remember the last time he had expressed worry for her when she wasn't being threatened/imprisoned. Maybe he was becoming more human, regaining some of his intelligence and common sense? "_Don't get your hopes up Penny; it could just be a glitch."_

Simply nodding in response, Penny bounded out the door, passing Brain on the way to her bike.

"Keep an eye on him, Brain. I'll be back in a couple hours." The yellow canine knocked his heels together and gave a sharp salute. Penny chuckled at his antics, and peddled away.

Her quite obviously bioengineered dog was a great help to Penny. Not only did he watch her uncle (from time to time an attempt was made on his life by M.A.D. agents), but he had assisted her with various escapades, and was, to state a cliché, her best friend. He was practically human anyways, being able to stand and walk on his hind legs like a human did, and even the pads on his front legs separated into individual digits with one that was opposable (much like cartoon hands, he had four digits instead of five), allowing him to grip things, and generally interact with the human world like it was his own. She had often wondered where he came from, but was polite enough not to pry.

Penny focused on the task at hand as she arrived at her destination*. It was a small facility owned by one of M.A.D.'s many shell companies. Looking up at the surrounding walls, she opened her Jack Pack™ (it _is_ a trademark, but not of Jack's signature bag…just an ornamental stone company or something. *shrugs*) and pulled out her modified AL-52 (this one was a smaller, more portable version. It only had one shot, and limited range, but seeing as it was half the size, that was to be expected). Extending the back to steady it, she adjusted the psi and shot it over the wall, reeling it in until it caught on something. Tugging on it to make sure it was steady-she wasn't going to repeat _that_ mistake again-she put on her sturdy, fingerless (a.k.a. keyboard accessible) climbing gloves, scrambled up the wall without too much difficulty, reloaded the AL-52, and jumped down to the other side.

Landing heavily, Penny recovered quickly, taking out and skimming her map of the area to find her bearings. Reassured, she made her way quickly to the access panel shown on the blueprints and, glancing around furtively to ensure that she was alone, she took out her utility tool (not sonic, but it would do) and opened up the panel, revealing an assortment of wires inside. Taking out a few wires and splicing them together to create a makeshift networking port**, she opened up her computer and began burrowing her way into the system.

Early on, she had learned that in spite of being an excellent hacker, there was only so much she could do without any form of assistance. It was this thought that spawned her greatest innovation; the hacker's Clippit™ tool. She took Microsoft's paperclip helper idea, and wrote her own signature software to go with the little animated figure. The only design difference was that she had changed the background from a piece of paper to a digital rain theme (Why, Mr. Anderson? Why? Why do you persist? *bows* to Agent Smith, the most fleshed out NPC I have ever seen). She had been thinking of adding a voice feature to it, but couldn't decide between Morgan Freeman and Werner Herzog.

So as she was typing furiously, it popped up with a text balloon. [Looks like you're trying to hack into a secure sub-net. Need some help?] It then displayed a short list of commands she could run by simply entering the right hot-keys-so she didn't have to stop typing. Getting past the firewall wasn't that hard, it was all the inner security that made it annoying to find and decrypt the files that contained what she was looking for. Grunting in frustration, she stared at the screen, then glanced over at the paperclip in the corner of the screen. She grinned; this would be a perfect time to give her upgrades a test-run.

C:\Documents and Settings\Windows User cd \C:\program files\secure drivers\hacker's clippit

C:\Program Files\Secure Drivers\Hacker's Clippit /f

Running program

Enter program code or parameters: find "project", "plan", "prototype", "gadget", "world domination" in all drives /i /offline] /cipher /list order encrypt lvl /copy to d:\

The program took off immediately, her processor whirring as massive amounts of code was entered automatically; her Clippit searching, decrypting, and sorting the documents it found. Penny hummed and checked her watch as it ran, occasionally glancing around for guards (tsk, tsk, security nowadays). Her anxiety abated a bit when a notification appeared. [Clippit has finished the assigned task. What do you want to do next?]  
**0** Destroy the data with a worm or corrupt the system with a virus.  
**0** Keep searching with different parameters.  
**0** Nothing; now shut up and go away.

Selecting the third option, Penny saved the material and then gathered up her things, preparing to go. With any luck no one would know she had been here. Replacing the panel, she hurried towards her exit; it was getting dark, and she didn't want her uncle to worry. As she was just gripping the rope to climb, a hand descended on her shoulder, and she cursed inwardly at the universe in general "_Can't I make a clean getaway even once? Seriously, I'd have better luck at a rigged poker game."_

"Hey pipsqueak, what are you try-" the guard didn't get to finish his accusation as Penny activated her watch's laser and strafed it across his face. The hapless henchman howled horribly (sorry, couldn't help myself there) as a large scorch mark appeared on his skin; penny took the opportunity to clamber over the wall to relative safety. With any luck, the M.A.D. operative hadn't gotten a good look at her, but it didn't matter-she got what she came for. Breathing out a sigh of relief, she ventured homewards with haste.

_A few hours later…_

Penny browsed through the files she stole, inspecting them for any hint of what Dr. Claw's next move was. While she was pouring through shunned prototypes and delivery routes for items of a dubious nature, scrapped plans and bulk transactions, a name kept coming up that she couldn't connect to anything. There was no file attached, no lists of materials or costs, just one line in Maniacal_ encoded with such finesse that it was difficult for even someone of her caliber to crack it. Something that was so important to Claw was worth checking out. Opening it, she could only stare at the two words laid out before her: **_Project Jade_**

[End Chapter 5]

Okay...so I tried to end it all suspenseful-like, but I'm not too sure how it went. It seemed a bit rushed to me, but maybe that's because I spent way too long trying to make some slightly believable hacking scene (still don't think I did too well).Windows? It's what I have. I had to mess around with cmd to find out how some of this stuff actually worked. I know practically nothing about computer systems, so I BSed it.

Penny might seem a bit OOC, but that's because I had to make it more modern and realistic. She can't just have a "fix-all" device (who here caught the doctor who reference?) like her computer book in the show, so the most obvious thing when thinking "good with computers" is being a hacker. Hence the ludicrously named hacker group. I just used a nickname generator, but if you can think of something better, I might change it.

*It was within bike-riding distance? If not, how did she get there? Shut up, I was busy writing her inner monologue, so I don't know either. Maybe Scotty was involved.

**If you are actually knowledgeable on this subject, feel free to correct me. No, I don't know if this is possible, but I am sure something like it is.


	6. Chapter 6

Has it already been 2 weeks? Sorry 'bout that. I'm glad I set the bar low.

Oh yes, the meaning of life! I forgot to tell you last chapter. Okay, here it is: The meaning of life is the meaning of cheese. "But that doesn't make much sense." "That is because 'life' is a noun, so by asking for the meaning of life, you are essentially asking for it's definition." But setting aside grammar, life is like cheese in that it is there, so you partake of it. Some is bad (velveeta, kraft) but most is bursting with flavor, so enjoy it while it lasts.

...how cheesy was that? (see what I did there?) No, but that is the meaning to life, so do with it what you will.

Is this story suspenseful? 'Cause if it is then I can add the tag so it can be crime/suspense. It just sounds cool, no?

I really try to bring realistic factors into the story, so I spend a lot of time reading up on stuff. Everything is based on actual facts/theories/etc. that I have found via reputable sources. Therefore, the test and its results described below are accurate, up to a point. I left a few things out, and made the EEG more comprehensive than it is in reality, but I want to write out 3-4 separate tests about as much as you want to read about them, so it will be given a quality of omniscience.

Again, it seems like there is a lot of back-story explanation going on, but it needed to be done. This doesn't really advance the plot (I should invest in one of those…), so whatever.

Yeah, so Nishimori is a Japanese name (pretty sure), but whatever.

See some words you don't know, yet too lazy to google them? No problem! I have added a small addendum at the very bottom that has the definition to a few words not commonly used.

Chapter 6

Peccantly Pernicious Proselytizing

The Professor led Jade to a small room where two other people were setting up a machine with a bunch of wires attached to a computer. "My aides." The Professor said by way of explanation.

"What this?"

"An Electroencephalograph." He continued when he saw Jade staring at him. "It's a device that, to put it in layman's terms, reads your brain waves. We're going to use it to check for any abnormal activity and make sure your head is all right." He gestured to the chair, "so if you would take a seat right over here, we can get started." She nodded and sat down as one of the assistants took out a weird looking brush and rubbed it rather vigorously over her scalp ("to get rid of dead skin," The Professor told her) and massaged some gel onto it while the other one prepared some sort of cap that was placed over her head. ("Electrodes that will signal the difference in the capacitance between them, thus giving us a comprehensive outline of your brains activity." He informed her).

"Now, as we proceed, we will test your reaction to light, sound, and other such stimuli; anything done is explicitly for testing purposes." A slight humming noise could be heard as the machine powered up. The Professor studied the screen as one of his subordinates took out flashlight and some boxy-looking thing. Clicking on the light, he shined it into her eyes as it flared into brilliancy, moving it back and forth for half a minute.

"Okay, good. Now, breathe in and out quickly, like you're hyperventilating." He checked his watch as she did so, inhaling and exhaling rapidly, resuming a normal rhythm when he raised his hand. "Now sound," he said as he pressed a button on the side of the box, which began to emit a series of beeps at varying lengths and pitches. After a few minutes of this, The Professor nodded at him, and he turned it off. "And close your eyes." The other assistant scribbled something onto a chart as the first kept track of the time. Another short interval, and then the first assistant walked quietly behind Jade and fiddled with the sound box, ramping it up to klaxon level and holding it next to her ear as he turned it on.

The Professor held a finger to his ear as his aide performed the next test. He had noticed something off about the girl when he had gone to get her; hence, he was anxious to see the effects of his experimental procedure. A piercing jumble of sounds exploded out of the device, jarring the second aide who had been writing and therefore had not noticed that the next test was beginning. Yet, as the professor looked intently at the girl, the only reaction he saw was a small grimace of pain as she quickly placed her fingers over her ears. Examining the digital readout, he was disconcerted to find that apart from a slight elevation in heartbeat and alertness, her levels remained much the same. Intrigued, he walked over to her.

"You can open your eyes now." Jade complied, falling back into a more relaxed posture as she watched him. The Professor thought carefully about what he was going to do next; he wasn't too keen on it, but, deciding that it was the most efficient way to confirm his theory, he slapped the girl straight across the face-not hard, mind you , but hard enough to rile her in some way.

#####################################################################################

Jade was unsure what this course of action was supposed to accomplish. First, they shine uncomfortably bright lights into her eyes, then they pummel her ears with loud sounds, and finally, The Professor comes over and smacks her across the face. He did say that everything was part of the test, but this was just weird.

#####################################################################################

Instead of blowing up in anger or cowering in fear, however, the child simply cocked her head and stared at him, her expression one of mild confusion and wariness. The Professor walked quickly over to the monitor and again scanned the screen for abnormalities. Confirming his suspicions, he smiled inwardly. _"Fascinating…"_ gathering up some papers, he swiftly escorted the girl to her next destination (leaving his assistants to clean up), then practically swaggered over to Dr. Claw's chambers. Claw swiveled as The Professor let himself in-his status was high enough that he was allowed to do so, though he rarely did-and marched up to the mastermind's desk.

"What is it, Professor?"

"I have the test results from the EEG. I think you'll find them very interesting." Claw said nothing, but his cat looked at the man in expectation. Coughing into his hand, The Professor went on "As you know, the procedure had a few…difficulties, and we had to exceed the parameters of the safety protocol by a rather large margin, so we weren't sure what results, if any, would have lasting effects." The Professor shuffled through his notes, grabbing one. "While she was out, we performed an fMRI scan which showed an irregularity in her limbic system, and more specifically, the amygdala*. She seems to have undergone a transmogrification of the mind; there has been an augmentation to the activity in the hippocampus and surrounding areas, but the amygdala has suffered a significant diminution in neural circuitry."

Claw suppressed a yawn with long years of practice; The Professor was long-winded and decidedly odd, but was also one of the brightest minds that M.A.D. had. "What are the ramifications? To the point, if you will."

At this, the Professor grinned. "Now that's the beauty of it, doctor." For all his smarts, The Professor still thought Dr. Claw was a licensed practitioner (It was a running gag, and no one saw the need to correct him.) "This is the best possible outcome, one even I could not have envisaged. Her overall cognition** has increased-by how much is uncertain, but we will know soon. Additionally, her ability to experience even basic emotions-anger, fear, surprise***-has been severely impaired, causing an acute case of alexithymia." The Professors mouth began to curl to Cheshire proportions. "She might as well be a robot with a high-functioning AI; all we need to do is program her."

That got the "doctor's" attention. He had actually tried using robots once, and they were successful, but somehow that damned Gadget managed to destroy them all with some sort of kill code (how on earth…does he have a degree in mechanical engineering?). If The Professor did this right, he could have a fearless warrior that would not panic under pressure, that could react and deal with unknown factors while in the field, and that was completely loyal to M.A.D.

"Do not fail me, Professor." The Professor only nodded, leaving the room as mad cat purred contentedly.

#####################################################################################

Jade sat in a small lecture hall with around twenty other "agents in training". The Professor had told her that she had the relearn the basics all over again; she had been fairly advanced before, and the Professor was sure that she would progress speedily. Listening to the instructor, she found that she had no need to take notes (not that she had anything to take them _with_)-ironically, she had almost perfect recall.

They were learning the basics of M.A.D. and the ideals of their leader. Jade didn't really care much for "the expansion and ultimate superiority of M.A.D. into every facet of enterprise, culminating in world domination!", but Dr. Claw had taken her in and given her a place to live (and more importantly, delicious food to eat), so Jade thought she might as well help him out.

"…ishimori…Nishimori…NISHIMORI!" Ah, right. _Jade_ Nishimori. She shifted her gaze onto the instructor.

"Yeah?"

"Pay attention. The introductory course is over; The Professor said for you to go to the training center. Just follow the others." Looking around, she noticed that everyone else was grabbing folders or notebooks and getting up to leave. Shrugging, she got up and filed into a large open room where there were two men: one who was rather large and wearing a ninja outfit, and another who was dressed in old-fashioned garb and had a fu-manchu accompanied by a long thin beard (no, I couldn't find out what it's called, and anyways, Jade probably wouldn't know either. A few characters in avatar have it.) that reached down several inches past his chin. The former addressed the group in a loud voice.

"Listen up, newbies, my name is Ninja, and this is Master Xu. We are here to test your physical abilities, and eventually teach you how to fight." _"Not that it'll do them much good"_ thought ninja despairingly, as he thought of previous recruits, now long-time members, that had neither the talent nor the commitment to do what it took to be as good as even the enforcers. Ninja had fought with them in the past, and though they were weak compared to a master, they could put up a fight and were able to take quite the beating.

"First off, we" he indicated Master Xu and himself "will spar with you to gauge your previous skill and reaction speed. Line up and we'll see what you've got." Jade watched as the first few individuals went up against the martial artists, only to be taken down rather forcefully. Soon it was her turn, and she was facing Master Xu on the matted area.

#####################################################################################

Master Xu was a master in several different forms of martial arts, and dabbled in many more. Thus, he deemed himself a good judge of a person's aptitude for specific disciplines. Most of this rabble had terrible reflexes, and even those that didn't lacked the decisiveness to act on them. Then…the girl. She stood there, face expressionless, but his trained eye could see the slight relaxation of muscles, the correct way to prepare the body for the quick movements that were vital to hand-to-hand combat.

#####################################################################################

Jade watched Master Xu carefully, but still barely managed to deflect his first two attacks and got thumped hard in the shoulder. Stepping back, her limbs moved in a familiar pattern as Xu unleashed a flurry of strikes. She was able to parry and block many of them, but was easily overwhelmed and thrown onto her back. Groaning, she got up-he hadn't held back on his last punch. _"Ugh…I'm gonna be feeling _that_ one in the morning..."_

#####################################################################################

He saw right off the bat that the girl had had previous training in martial arts, as the second he let loose his opening blow she fell…into a basic Northern Shaolin stance, batting away his outstretched arm twice prior to spinning away as his hand made contact with her shoulder, lessening the effect. Raising a brow, he pressed her back, raining down blows in quick succession until she finally lost her footing and dropped to the mat, hard. Master Xu was surprised at her competency-she had moved with him, deflected most of his blows, and only a few hit her head-on. This was more than some previous training, it was talent and…experience. He could tell that, even if her memory was gone, her body still remembered to detect and avoid attacks, to read an opponent's patterns and redirect the force coming towards it. He would enjoy teaching this child-all those "unorthodox" methods that had caused him to be recruited by Dr. Claw in the first place would be the perfect curriculum for the girl.

#####################################################################################

Jade walked off the mat, slightly unnerved by Master Xu's wicked grin as he stroked his beard._  
_

_A few weeks later..._

She had fallen into a routine, of sorts. She would attend a "class" where she was taught the different facets of criminology: lock-picking, infiltration, surveillance, alarm systems, and other things that every good criminal should know. Afterwards she would train with Master Xu for a few grueling hours before eating a large meal, and then she would go to the firing range to get acquainted with weapons. The Professor checked on her progress every few days or so, asked a few questions, and inquired about her health. Jade thought that, all things considered, she had it pretty good. He had given her a file detailing her past, but it did nothing to jog her memory, so she had handed it back to him, deciding that she wasn't missing much anyways. This was her life now.

#####################################################################################

Penny had continued looking through the files for hours, searching for anything she might have missed. She had reached out to her contacts, trying to find something related to Project Jade, but they hadn't heard of it either. Sighing, she hopped out of her chair (because that's the only way you can really get off of it) and walked into the kitchen to get herself a snack.

Sitting down and quickly devouring a tin of herring, Penny glanced down and noticed the paper that her uncle had been reading that morning lying on the table. She remembered he had been worried when he read a story about a kidnapping victim. Her interest piqued, she picked it up started reading when a voice interrupted her.

"Penny, I just can't take it anymore. That dog of yours keeps cheating at cards; just a minute ago he played a straight flush while we were playing go fish!"

Penny thought that it was probably her uncle who mixed up the games…he had a short attention span and would often go off on a tangent, but at least he was never boring to play with. "Alright uncle Gadget, let's go in there and I'll sort him out. Throwing out the empty tin and the paper, she soon forgot all about abductions and was laughing it up with her wacky uncle and her genetically altered dog.

In the now dark kitchen, a newspaper lies in the trash, open to a certain page of listings, where one in particular may have caught a particular hacker's eye:

**_Jade Chan  
_**_Last seen two weeks ago  
__**Sex:**__ Female  
__**Age:**__ 11  
__**Race:**__ Chinese  
__**Hair:**__ Black  
__**Eye Color: **__Amber  
__**Height:**__ 3'1"  
__**Weight:**__ 68 lbs  
__**Missing from:**__ San Francisco_

Missing person (MP) was last seen leaving Uncle's Rare Finds on 444 Parnassus Avenue. MP has shoulder length black hair and wears a short-sleeved orange jacket. Mental and physical condition reported as good. MP's disappearance regarded as highly suspect. MP has been involved in the arrests of various criminals, and kidnapping is likely.

[End Chapter 6]

Okay, so I did not add in any dates b/c I don't really want to have a timeline disaster, but seeing as this is around season 2 I geuss it would be late 2001. I don't think I did a great job with the missing person report, but I don't really read that page.

Damnation! A plot hole! Um…let's just say that The Professor told her that she had been somewhere else before and had just gotten here, and that's why nobody knows her, kay? That sounds reasonable, but tell me if you want me to add in a fictional backstory for her to have (b/c she will eventually ask, right?). Yes, that is 50% more fictional for the same non-existent price!

I am also not re-reading this chapter, so any mistakes/un-flowiness will be addressed if they are brought up (in other words, review if you think something doesn't read well and I'll probably fix it later).

I am time-skipping after this chapter (most likely), so if there is anything I failed to mention/anything you want more clear, tell me now. I think I'll have to write in a few flashbacks, but no matter, they can be fun (and informative). I bid you good day.

** Addendum:**

*The amygdala is the part of the brain that is in charge of episodic-autobiographical memory (past events, times, places, associated emotions, and other contextual knowledge. E.g. celebrations, day-to-day activities such as the feeling of stepping into an ocean, flashbulb memories like how you felt on 9/11, personal facts, etc.), attentional and emotional processes (attention is the ability to hone in on some stimuli while ignoring others), and social processing (it evaluates the trustworthiness of an individual, based both on first impressions and previous experience.).

**The cognition that I am referring consists of attention, memory (semantic-meanings, understandings, and other concept-based knowledge), processing and understanding language, learning, reasoning, problem solving, and decision making. Simply put, how efficient/high-functioning your mind is.

***From Paul Ekman's renowned classification of the six basic emotions: anger, disgust, fear, happiness, sadness, and surprise. Premise for the "wheel of emotions", wherein all emotions are some mixture of these.

Capacitance: The ability of an object or substance to store electrical charge.  
Transmogrify: to change the appearance or form of something, esp. in a grotesque/bizarre way.  
Peccant: 1. sinful, guilty of a sin. 2. willful, violating a rule or practice.  
Pernicious: 1. causing serious harm, causing great harm, destruction, or death. 2. malicious, wicked or meaning to cause harm.  
Proselytize: Convert or attempt to convert (someone) from one religion, belief, or opinion to another.  
Alexithymia: Difficulty in experiencing, expressing, and describing emotion (both in oneself and others).


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

When you're having fun

Frankie turned to glare at his stoic partner-in-crime. He hadn't believed it at first when he was assigned to take on a high-priority mission with only a kid as backup, but the orders had come down from Dr. Claw himself, so he didn't really have a choice. They were supposed to infiltrate a heavily guarded base that held an interesting piece of technology that The Professor said could be very useful to them. The only problem was that the owner of said base never trusted electronic protection too much, so instead he had a plethora of armed guards to deal with any intruders. He had the layout, and knew where the apparatus was, but his specialty was infiltration, so going up against the rather beefy looking security was a bit out of his league. The girl spoke suddenly, startling him out of his reverie.

"What's the plan?"

Frankie had thought of a few on the way over, but with such little manpower he would have to go with plan C. "I'll go in and retrieve the item while you create a distraction. Just keep the guards off my back, okay?"

"Anything goes, then." She deadpanned. Rolling her shoulders to loosen up, she jogged off towards the main entrance after he gave her the go-ahead. Frankie just shook his head _"kids these days"_ and waited a minute before walking over to a side entrance and sneaking inside. As he made his way through the facility, he had to hide several times as men came rushing by, presumably to check on the commotion near the front. He could hear rapid gunshots and a few screams even from halfway in. Reaching the center room, he made quick work unlocking the door, walked in, picked up the item, and walked back out, politely closing the door behind him. Just when he thought he would make a clean getaway, a guard spotted him and yelled out something that Frankie didn't bother trying to listen to. Running through the halls, he cursed as he realized that he had made a wrong turn. Hearing the clatter of boots behind him, he made for the main entrance, hoping that the security would be too preoccupied with his accomplice to accost him.

Frankie stopped dead in his tracks at the sight before him. All around the small room were the slumped forms of guards, and in the center were three guards-two of which had somehow lost their weapons-advancing on the girl. Before he could think of whether or not to help, she kicked the gun out of the first guard's hand, spun around, and hit him in the temple with the heel of her foot. He went down like a sack of potatoes as his fellows attacked her, to no avail. Her arm flashed out, striking the second man in the windpipe, stunning him before turning to the third, jumping up and landing a knee in his chest-Frankie winced when he heard a crunching sound-causing him to crumple over, coughing up a bit of blood. The second man barely had time to recover before she kicked out his knee and smashed the back of his neck as he fell, rendering him unconscious. Reaching down, she relieved a guard of his side arm and aimed it in Frankie's direction, firing twice. Turning, he saw the guard that had been following him fall to the ground, gasping in pain.

Taking stock of the situation, he noted that she had taken out twenty guards in the time it had taken him to simply walk in and out. She hadn't gotten out unscathed, however; he could see quite a few rips in her clothing where bullets had grazed her, and she was splattered with blood. How much of it was actually hers he couldn't tell, but she looked in good enough condition, so he figured now was as good a time as any to make their escape.

"Let's get the fuck outta here" Nodding, she followed him out to the old unassuming sedan he had requested for this venture. Driving away from the building, he glanced over at the girl, who was taking this opportunity to rest.

"Hey kid, what's your name, anyways?"

Her eyes stayed closed when she answered. "Jade. Jade Nishimori."

"Alright then, Jade, nice to meetcha. Name's Bartholomew Herbert, but you can call me Frankie. Everyone else does." She twisted her head around and looked at him curiously, as if he had just suggested that he bred hippopotami for a living. He almost laughed aloud but, remembering the scene in the guardroom, kept it to a small chuckle. If he hadn't seen it for himself, he would have never believed that this girl was an emotionless killing machine-even now, her placid demeanor was only betrayed by her tattered appearance, though even then one would think she had been the victim in an accident, not the perpetrator. He wondered what had happened to make her this way…maybe some childhood trauma? Whatever the case, she had saved his bacon, so being friendly seemed appropriate.

#####################################################################################

Jade wasn't sure why the man with an odd name kept talking to her, but it was a distraction from the throbbing pain she felt all over. Pain was annoying, but it meant that you were alive, or at least that's what The Professor had said.

"So, Jade. Where did you learn all that crazy ninja crap?" Frankie asked nonchalantly. "I mean, you were taking down guys twice your size without too much effort. That's pretty impressive."

"Master Xu." Jade remembered all those weird teaching sessions, a few of which she was sure were too dangerous to be taught as basic curriculum. "He taught me Muay Thai, Judo, Kenpo, and Kung Fu. I've been training with him for a few years now." Frankie gave a low whistle. "Damn, you must be one hell of a good student. I've heard it takes ten years to become adept at martial arts. It's why I never took it up. No sirree, I do infiltration, and I'm the best in the business. Locks, alarms, safes, you name it, I can break it."

Frankie was easy to talk to, Jade decided. He only talked about simple things, and if the conversation hit a wall, he would just laugh it off and go off on a tangent.

"How are you feeling? 'Scuse me for saying so, but you look like you lost a fight with a flock of zombie crows." Jade stared at him and said, very seriously, "Hungry." She watched as he laughed uproariously, waiting for an answer. "Sure thing. I think we've earned it." Still shaking with laughter, he pulled into a Wendy's and, remembering how the girl looked, went through the drive-thru. A few Baconators, some chili cheese fries and a couple of chocolate Frostys later (hey, fighting/running for your life burns a lot of calories); they had arrived at their destination. "Seems like this is your stop, Jade. Let's work together again, huh?" She gave him an intent look, then nodded succinctly before, grabbing the device and exiting the vehicle.

Jade strode over to the small square building in front of her, a M.A.D. relay hub that doubled as her quarters. Turning in the device to the secretary there (his name was Marco), she went upstairs to her…well, it was more of a room, really. The lot itself was only about 700 square feet, and her living accommodations were significantly less than that. It was enough for her though, as she lived rather sparsely anyways. After taking a quick shower, she lay down on her bed and thought about the day. The mission was a success, and she had performed her duty well. It wasn't every day she could do whatever she wanted during a mission, there was usually some "collateral damage limit" that forced her to change tack. She preferred hand-to-hand combat because she was good at it, but also because there was some part of her that pursued chaos, relished the impact of her blows and the screams of her victims as blood covered her body in a fine mist…

If any of her long-time associates could see her now, they would be shocked to see the small lift to the corners of her mouth, and wonder what could possibly make such a cold-blooded killer smile so contentedly.

#####################################################################################

Penny was frantic; the amount of work she had to do was tremendous. Tedious schoolwork aside, she had three programs to complete for various companies, make a comprehensive security upgrade to her network, and rework her Hacker's Clippit, all while watching M.A.D. activity which had been increasing in the past several months. Of course, this meant more work for her uncle, Brain, and the police force in general. Chief Quimby hadn't had time to make house calls, and instead sent a carrier pigeon (seriously, didn't he know about e-mail?) to deliver the hazardous explosive letters that signified a new mission. The only problem was that after Gadget read the letter, he gave it back to the pigeon, which immediately flew over and dropped it on Quimby's desk, interrupting meetings with a shout of "Fire in the hole!" before the note would explode in his face. Frankly, Penny was surprised that he had any hair left at all.

Speaking of which, the mustachioed detective had just sent her uncle to check on a disturbance downtown, as there had been M.A.D. sightings there recently. She called Brain to find out how they were doing. What she got was a garbled message that there were three or four factions battling over some strange artifact-just what was going on over there?

#####################################################################################

Jackie Chan was having a bad day. He used to be an easy-going archaeologist, but the past four years had embittered him, made him unable to enjoy his work. After Jade's mysterious disappearance, Jackie, Uncle, and Captain Black had used all their resources to try to locate her, to no avail. He remembered the day when it began to seem hopeless.

_Flashback begin_

Jackie paced in a conference room that contained himself, Uncle, Tohru, Viper, El Toro, and a few others. Captain Black walked in heavily; he was tired, they all were. Jackie looked up as he came in, hoping for good news.

Black was Jackie's best friend, so it actually hurt to tell him this, "I'm sorry, Jackie. I couldn't find her. I used every ounce of clout I could muster to look for her, even showed the higher ups the talismans and sent out an international alert, but…nothing."

"Aiyaaaahhh! Uncle used locator spell, but Jade's chi is nowhere to be found!" Uncle, usually nonplussed while demons were attacking, seemed deeply worried for his "niece". In a low voice, he could be heard to say, "I have failed you, master Fung."

Viper had liked Jade instantly, even saw a bit of herself in the kid, so being unable to help was infuriating. "I checked with all my underground contacts, no children matching Jade's description were seen in the last few weeks."

Jackie was at a loss. He knew his friends had tried their best, but Jade was still missing. He stood there with dry eyes until El Toro came up behind him and placed a hand on his shoulder. "I am with you, mi amigo. We will keep searching, and Jade will turn up, I am sure." Jackie turned around to see Tohru nod in agreement, and a thought occurred to him. "Thanks guys, I think I'll be taking you up on your offer."

Fifteen minutes later found a very angry Jackie grabbing a man up by the lapels of his green striped suit. "Where is she, Valmont; WHERE IS JADE!? You're the only one I know with the ability and motive to pull this off, so where. Is. My. Niece!" He emphasized his last point by ramming the brit against the wall. Hard.

Coughing a bit, the Englishman looked around for his enforcers, only to see them taken care of by two large men, one of them a previous employee of his. "Blast." Defeated, Valmont decided to tell the truth. "I don't _know_ where she is…if I had kidnapped her, don't you think I would have ransomed her off by now?"

"How do I know you're not lying?" Jackie hissed menacingly, gripping him a bit tighter.

"I swear, Chan, I did not, in any way, harm or conspire to harm that little miscreant. You know it's not my style to do things that won't turn me a profit."

Jackie glared at him a long moment before accepting the truth: Jade was gone, and the only thing he could do was hope that somehow, someday, she would be found. Dropping Valmont like a sack of potatoes, he left-tears dropping silently as his rather muscular entourage followed quietly.

_Flashback end_

The only thing worse was when he had to explain it to Jade's parents. They had entrusted their daughter to his care, had relied on him to raise her to be more responsible, and he has lost her. They were devastated, but even then, they could see what a toll this took on their cousin, so Jackie was spared the wild accusations he had feared-but knew he deserved. She had always been there for him, whether he needed it or not, but when she was in trouble, where was he? Reading up on ancient pottery making.

Now, though he still had an ache of grief, he had accepted that she was…gone. He had officially joined Section 13 and fought with the demon sorcerers, captured all the zodiac animals, sealed Shendu _again_, battled against Tarakudo and his generals, stopped Drago from accruing the power of his "relatives", and saved the world from an apocalypse of evil. Even so, it wasn't enough. There was still much to do in order to make the world a safer place. He had to atone for his shortcomings in the past, and ending crime seemed like a good place to start.

Therefore, he found himself in the middle of a large brawl in a warehouse that had seen better days. He had gone to intercept the Dark Hand, and found that they were already engaged with another group wearing black T-shirts. Thinking at first that they were the police, he was about to assist when a tall, gangly man in a trench coat and matching had busted in through a side door, whipped out an I.D., and proclaimed loudly, "This is the police, you're all under arrest!" Taking advantage of the distraction, Jackie grabbed an object from one of the unidentified group's members that they were trying to make off with, "I won't be bringing this back! Thank you!" He flipped back from a clumsy punch and turned around to run, only to face the enforcers. Finn, Ratso, and Chow had brushed up on their technique, but were still not much of a match for Jackie. He dodged a few blows, but was caught off guard as the man in the trench coat yelled "Go-Go Gadget Fist!" followed by a large red punching glove that whooshed past his head to smash into some crates behind him.

"Hey, I'm on _your_ side!"

"Then why do you have the item?"

"I just took it from the real bad guys!"

"Hmm…you don't say. In that case, we had better catch those scoundrels right away!"

However, while they had been arguing, the two criminal groups, each seeing their most feared enemy appear, decided to cut their losses and withdraw.

"Well, at least they didn't get their hands on this." Jackie held up the cloth-bound object and unwrapped it, revealing a…well, he didn't actually know, but whatever it was, he couldn't let the Dark hand or those other people have it. Turning back to the policeman, he introduced himself and they shook hands.

"Pleasure to meet you, Jackie. Name's Gadget. Inspector Gadget of MetroCity."

Seeing as they had a similar interest, Jackie invited the inspector to come with him to Uncle's shop, so they could discuss things in a safer location, and perhaps have some tea. After calling to notify their superiors, they left the warehouse, taking Gadget's car (apparently, Jackie had done some freerunning to get there). They rode in amicable silence, arriving in a matter of minutes. Jackie walked in first, followed by Gadget (and Brain), to find Uncle sitting at the front desk, studying a manuscript with a magnifying glass. Looking up as Jackie entered, his eyes widened significantly and his mouth gaped open in shock.

"AIYAAAAAHHHH! Jackie! Put that down at once!"

[End Chapter 7]

Yes, yes, I know…not the best place to end a chapter, but it had to be done, or I would never get it out.

So tell me, do you want more magic in this story? I can make that happen (I know a guy ;P). Also, should Jackie & co. meet Penny next chapter? I'll flip a coin if no one really cares, but I would like some input.

**A/N:** I will be putting up a timeline for the four years Jade has been gone, as many events would have gone differently/not transpired, so if you get an update, don't be dissapointed when it's not a new chapter. Chapters 4 had a missing verb, and chapter 5 was missing the [End Chapter] thing, so they have been fixed.

Next chapter: We find out what that thing is (just btw, it looks kind of like an urn, or at least it does in my imagination.), Quimby meets Captain Black (?), and Jade goes to a museum (she also gets a cool-ass weapon! or at least I think so. If you have a better idea, tell me and I'll see what I can do, Michael Weston style).

Questions/comments/complaints/adulation? Feel free to PM me.


	8. Timeline(ish)

For those of you who didn't read my note last chapter, THIS IS NOT A CHAPTER, so don't get all mad about it.

Okay, so here is a timeline, of sorts, that will show you what happened differently. I started the story around season 2, a little bit after the Queen of the Shadowkhan episode, but now I think that I could have just done it after the series ended, and it would have worked just as well…but it's too late for that, methinks. I'll also give a brief description of the characters as a refresher. I have a few OC's that aren't really fleshed out too much-I would like to give readers free reign of imagination for appearance and speech, b/c it's just more interesting that way (like when you read a book and then see the movie adaptation, you're like….oh).

OCs:

The Professor: Upper echelon M.A.D. agent. He is in charge of the R&D (research and development) department, but has a hand in many other operations, and generally helps things run more smoothly. He doesn't really have a specific profession-he's a scientist!-though he excels in physics and neuroscience. He has a bit of a pride issue, and shows a vindictive side when he is especially frustrated/insulted, but he isn't known to hold a grudge. Dr. Claw places a lot of trust in him.

Gorin: Yeah, I forgot about him too. Really just a transitional character, but who knows, maybe he'll show up again. Gorin is Dr. Claw's foremost surveillance expert, and he gives very good and detailed information. He gets annoyed when people don't follow protocol, though he's actually pretty easy-going when there's nothing going on.

Ninja: NOT an OC, but he is most likely much different from the actual IG movie version. He is very loyal, and likes his job. He is a terrible teacher, due to his impatience (that's probably why he's a bad ninja, as well). He's kind of a one-dimensional character, and is the boss-henchman.

Bartholomew Herbert (aka Frankie): Frankie is a "lock and alarm specialist"-the best in his field, in fact. He likes Wendy's (because I like Wendy's) and is not much of a fighter. It's not that he's physically weak, just that he never bothered to learn. A truly likeable person (natural charm or whatever), he knows lots of random trivia, and has good taste in music, such as Bon Jovi, Queen, Tchaikovsky (Mozart? Bitch, please), and Coldplay (okay, so that last one is maybe more of an opinion, but the rest are solid). I was going to put Gorin as Jade's partner in chapter 7, but I decided that I needed an entirely new character (Gorin's a bad name anyways).

This is just a general guideline to the characters. I think of the character's appearance in a certain way, but it's not important, and details like height, weight, and clothing style is just dull and confusing most of the time.

Timeline (sort of): this just lists some events that would not have happened, and explains why/how they are different.

Season 1:

-Nothing changed

Season 2: Anything not mentioned happened more or less the same. Jade was kidnapped after episodes 5 and 6, right before the moon demon episode. Many of the things in the "later" episodes actually happened in season one, so it was a bit confusing.

-Instead of Valmont, [insert name here] is possessed, though Shendu still manages to take charge of the Dark Hand, despite the protests of the wily leader.

-All of the demons are found, fought, and sealed, with the exception of Hsi Wu (the sky demon), who escapes and uses his powers of transformation to remain undetected.

-"Demon World" (book of ages time rewrite)-didn't happen. The other Demon Sorcerers are not ready to try a last resort time-space disruption, as Hsi Wu is still out there. They are willing to wait for a bit longer to see if he can accomplish anything, and while they are waiting, they torture Shendu.

-"Agent Tag"-A routine and successful solo mission accomplished by Tag McStone. Barely worth mentioning, really.

-Spring-Heeled Jack episode. Jackie was not split up, but otherwise the events are the same…minus Jade, of course.

-The King of Tangra had a tedious, yet safe stay in San Francisco.

-That cat thing with Valmont…I don't see why not.

-The Ben-Shui monks search for the chosen one, but there is a veil hampering their mind's sight.

-Captain Black is given more funding after proving to the assessors the validity of his magic claim, using the talismans.

Season 3;

-Astral projection episode-no body switch _or_ Uncle and Jackie switch

-"Animal Crackers" episode (the petting zoo one)-didn't happen.

Season 4:

-No "T-Troop" (scruffy turning shadowkhan) episode. Either some other random animal gets it (maybe a hedgehog?), or it is similar, replacing Jade with Jackie (and no talisman powers, either). I didn't like this episode anyways…the muscles…the muscles…*emotional breakdown*…THE MUSCLES!

-Finn never got that mask on his ass b/c Jade never animated it with the rat talisman.

-The half a mask episode never happened b/c the dark hand still works for Valmont and they are busy doing other criminal things.

-the good guys…no. again, dark hand still going strong.

-J-tots…never happened

-Déjà vu episode-I want to say it didn't happen, but it probably would have anyways, even if Jade wasn't there. It probably made Jackie's heart break to see such vivid images of his niece smiling, laughing, and getting into trouble. Kid stuff. If you want I can make a little flashback of this, perhaps even make it truly heart wrenching. I'll probably do it if I can fit it in with even the thinnest excuse.

-Ninja twilight- just the same, except Captain Black (or whoever) whaps the mask onto Tarakudo with a witty comment (I'll "never-ending all-consuming darkness" your face!). Even Tohru, if you can think of him saying something witty (I can't, really…he would at least say it _slowly_).

Season 5:

-No "dragon scouts" episode (the Enforcers nephews)

-Uncle's chi draining device had a bit of a problem, but he was able to fix it and get the sky demon chi into the container

-those mirror spirits remained in their mirror and were submerged with the rest of the town.

okay, so the only thing left is the final dual-episode thing "The Powers that be" in which Drago absorbs all the demon chi with a spell he just happened to have on him. Knowing they will need all the firepower they can get, Uncle and Tohru go to retrieve the talismans while Jackie and Captain Black attempt to stop Drago. Uncle and Tohru are unexpectedly helped out by the Dark Hand, as Valmont 'Holds a grudge against those giant, overgrown lizards" and says that he he doesn't want Drago to kill them...or worse, turn them into slaves. Strikemaster Ice and his crew blast their way into section 13, and start destroying the place. Though both Tohru and Valmont take one of them out, the Enforcers are soundly thrashed and fail to stop Ice from destroying the base. Uncle realizes that if they have this much trouble against the minions, it would be almost impossible to defeat Drago himself. Shendu offers to fight with his son, calling him disrespectful. Uncle gives Shendu most of his talismans back, and while he and Drago are fighting, Tohru and Uncle open a portal to the netherworld, sucking both of them inside. Tohru is deemed a Chi Master, and Black asks Jackie to work full-time at Section 13. He accepts. Uncle warns them that the border between the realms is weak, as both Hsi Wu and some of the talismans are still on earth.

After the finale: Jackie works with Section 13 to fight off the Dark Hand, and helps stop Hsi Wu from grabbing power wherever he can. Captain Black is given much more authority, and is put in charge of any magical, or even abnormal, incidents. His base is rebuilt and infused with the latest technological and magical defenses against anything Uncle and Tohru could think of. The remaining Talismans are locked away in the vault, and things are mostly peaceful for the next few months, which leads us to current story time._  
_

Okay, so that gives a rough idea of the timeline. If I missed anything, tell me.

The feeling that I am getting is...more Penny? Alright then, she wasn't originally going to have MC status, but if no one has a problem with it, she'll be getting more screen time.

Anyone not like Frankie? He's going to pop up again, so too bad.

Oh, and just in case I need another bad guy, that Dark Chi wizard (daolan wong?) is still at large, doing Dark Chi wizard things. Maybe he took Ice & co. as minions, or is to weak to create minions, but I wanted to have him around just in case.

Alright, I shall be off.


	9. Chapter 8

To address your concerns:

Daolon Wong. Uncle defeated him, but what he really did was destroy his staff, which, like Uncle's puffer fish, channels and magnifies his power. Without it, he has to resort to doing spells the old-fashioned way, by gathering bizarre ingredients and mixing them in a cast-iron cauldron while chanting an incantation garnered from some obscure text that's in a dead language (slightly more difficult than it sounds).

Hsi Wu joining M.A.D.? Hmmm…interesting. Also: No, this will most definitely _not_ be a Jade/Hsi Wu pairing. I appreciate that some people like that, but it's not my cup of tea (for that matter, I don't really like tea, either). "Why surely, Vladimir, you wouldn't make Hsi Wu free just for the hell of it, right?" Um, well, actually…I _kinda_ did (Rules of Engagement anyone? Patrick Warburton is in it). The point was to show that key events changed drastically without Jade there. Of course, I had to make the timeline mostly similar, or there would be demons and ninjas and dragons (oh my!) all over the damn place, and that just wouldn't work out too well.

Drago: he followed either Capt. Black or some other random agent (Tag?) through the portal. It doesn't really matter, as the entire portal episode was just a plot device to introduce a new villain (who has to escape from the nether-realm somehow, or break the time-space continuum).

Ah yes, the Déjà vu episode: 1) Jackie couldn't risk breaking the universe and/or 2) He didn't have the time to do it/the ability (hey, he's no Matt Smith).

Also, sorry for the long delay. I had no internet for a while ("Then how did you live?"|"By feasting on the souls of children."|"…") got into a fight with a large dog (I like dogs, but sadly the feeling isn't mutual), and had some writers block, but now I'm back, so….enjoy!*

*Product not guaranteed to bring enjoyment, fleeting or otherwise. If enjoyment lasts for more than 24 hours, please set up an appointment with your doctor immediately (you don't have to go, just scheduling it should be sufficient).

Chapter 8

Quest for Power

"AIYAAAAAHHHH! Jackie! Put that down at once!"

Jackie startled and fumbled the artifact, but quickly recovered and set it down quickly on a nearby table. Uncle rushed over and thwacked Jackie on the forehead.

"What are you doing, bringing a Néngyuán container in here?"

Jackie rubbed his head, flabbergasted, "I don't even know what a "nen-gwan" is!"

Uncle raised his finger and started one of his lectures: "A Néngyuán container is a potent ancient artifact, used by the sorcerers of old to power their spells and various magical devices. They were first created by monks to sap the strength from natural disasters, preventing them from causing widespread damage. This vessel would have been used to contain hurricanes, volcanic eruptions, typhoons, earthquakes, and wildfires; enough force to level cities."

Jackie took a moment to digest this information. "Then why would anyone want to steal it? If they unleashed the energy within, wouldn't they get destroyed as well?"

"Not necessarily…if they could harness the energy, they might be able to use its power for their own means…, but that is _very_ dangerous-one wrong move and you could obliterate everything from here to Dublin!"

"What! But…but that's…over five thousand miles away! A blast that large would wipe out half the planet!"

#####################################################################################

_Fifteen minutes ago…_

As Gadget talked to Jackie in the warehouse, Penny did a quick search on him. He was apparently an esteemed archaeologist who had faded out of the academic spotlight a few years ago. Looking closer, she found that he now worked as a "consultant" for a little known section of the government -a vague job description if she ever heard one. She was curious, but decided not to pry into his personal life (she _was_ one of the good guys, after all).

An alert popped up on her screen. She skimmed it quickly, her eyes widening slightly. This couldn't be a coincidence. Closing her laptop and shoving it into her bag, she made her way over to a certain antique shop a little ways off Market Street. A loud voice with a distinct accent could be heard as Penny reached for the door.

"…five thousand miles away! A blast that large would wipe out half the planet!"

"Actually, it would be forty percent, but that's hardly relevant, as the force of the explosion would accelerate enough mass out of earth's gravity well to create an instability that would cause a multitude of catastrophes, effectively ending all life on this planet."

Jackie jumped in surprise whilst simultaneously twisting around-almost tripping over himself in the process. "Waaaaaahhh! Wh-who…who are you?"

Gadget inadvertently answered him before she could reply. "Why, hello there, Penny. What brings you here?"

"Hey, Uncle Gadget. After you foiled that heist, I found out that M.A.D.[Dr. Claw?] has another plan in the works. Seeing as this is Mr. Chan's jurisdiction, I thought we could, ya know, strategize…and exchange information." Noticing the echo in her ear, she pressed a button on her watch* (more precisely, a combination of buttons) to deactivate the live audio transmission coming from Brain's collar.

"She's your niece? No, wait; what's mad? Are they working with the Dark Hand?"

"The Dark Hand…don't they work for Valmont? He and Dr. Claw _hate_ each other."

"Sensei, your tea is rea-oh, I didn't realize you had company."

Jackie took a second to compose himself. "Look, we all obviously have questions, so let's all just sit down and have some tea while we talk."

"That sounds like a grand idea!"

Jackie led the way to the kitchen, but stopped short as he remembered how small the room was. He turned and raised a finger "Actually, I have a better idea."

#####################################################################################

A phone call and half an hour later, the group found themselves situated in a conference room within Section 13 with various beverages in front of them** as Captain Black paced in front of them with his usual grim expression. "So you're telling me that both the Dark Hand and M.A.D. were after this… magical battery, and you managed to retrieve it, but let them get away."

"Unfortunately, yes."

"Don't beat yourself up about it Jackie. An unfortunate coincidence. Now, it seems that miss…Penny...has some information to share with us?" From the look on his face, Black didn't have much confidence that anything of use would be revealed.

Penny flipped open her laptop and synced it to the projector at the end of the table. A few moments passed in which only the tapping of keys and the click of a mouse could be heard. Straightening, Penny addressed the assemblage.  
"Alright, so the heist you intervened in today was one in a series of similar burglaries undertaken by M.A.D. in the past few months. Nothing definitive can be assumed with what has been stolen so far, but that may be about to change. I got some intel on a break-in planned for tomorrow night; if we find out what they are after, we may be able to figure out just what it is Claw is trying to accomplish. "

Jackie voiced what everyone was thinking: "Where?"

"China."

#####################################################################################

_"It's pure Vanadium, Bitch."_  
-Jade Nishimori, after a failed attempt on her life***

If Jade Nishimori had the capacity to love, no person would find themselves on that list. In fact, it only contained two items-her pair of vanadium knuckles. Though at first she had been a little apprehensive about using them, she had acknowledged that, being much smaller than many of her opponents, she needed an edge. She often wondered if that bump on the head had somehow stunted her growth, because at five foot nothing, she didn't exactly cut an imposing figure. Sure, she may be stronger than the average individual, but having less reach and overall ability to take damage left her at a significant disadvantage. She had acquired them a few years ago, but they still looked good as new. They were stronger than steel-much stronger-hard enough to break through almost anything she felt the need to hit. They had saved her life enough times that she hardly went anywhere without them. Their offensive and defensive applications were much more than what you would expect…for instance, one time she had been held at gunpoint. She failed to distract her assailant, and he held his gun just out of arm's reach. Acting out of pure desperation, her hand had shot out and punched the barrel of the gun just as it went off, the bullet ricocheting off the hard metal, giving her time to take the man out. She had to take it easy on her hand for a while afterwards, but since then she had made them part of her essential paraphernalia.

A dull ringing sound permeated the room. She flipped open her phone and held it to her ear.

"Jade."

"You have a new assignment. Priority acquisition, details are with Marco. Request support as needed."

*Click*

Succinct as usual. Rising, Jade geared up and went downstairs, retrieving the docket before returning to her quarters and perusing the material. She got up to pack; apparently, she was going to china.

[End Chapter 8]

You have no idea what a pain in the arse it is to write dialogue between more than three people while making it easy to see who's talking. I almost had the heist planned for the same day, but realized that (duh) it takes 12 hours to get to Beijing, so…yeah.

**A/N**: Okay, so this was a short chapter, so if you have an extra five minutes, I did write an intro for another story called Night Terrors (also starring the incorrigible Jade Chan), so if you think I write fairly well, go check it out! _**NOTE**:_ You _may or may not_ like it! (see, now you're intrigued :P).

**A/N2**: I feel like an idiot. I've been using pound signs, but there is a button on edit doc mode that says: insert horizontal line...

* * *

...like so. I'll use them in the future. This is almost as bad as when I failed to notice that Alucard (from Hellsing) is actually Dracula (to be fair, the subtitles spelled it "Arucard", but still).

*Penny's watch is actually a pretty nifty piece of technology. Aside from the powerful laser, it contains a powerful (for its size) processor that has various applications. It controls Brain's collar, acts as a communicator, and is used as a computerized "key" that allows her to access various items (using a complex bio-lock™ system to assure that it can't be readily used if stolen). Yeah, it's a touch-screen. It is also waterproof and has a Mohs hardness of six. It _is_ heavy for a watch, and weighs about half a kilogram. Advances in technology have allowed for very small nuclear powered batteries (the size of a penny, in fact…let it be known that there was room for a bad pun there, and I was the better person and let it go), but hers has to be quite a bit larger due to having a powerful LASER (that is not for emphasis, it's just an acronym-Light Amplification by Stimulated Emission of Radiation) in it. This is the eighth version of her watch (it being upgraded/replaced over the years), and is green and brown (pink being a bit too visible for infiltration). One notable upgrade is the band, which is a resilient carbon-polymer that melds to itself instead of having a buckle. Penny designed it so that a small current flows through the band, locking it in place. It disengages when the correct code is entered. Note: just in case it ever comes up, it is not EMP-proof, though a few key functions would remain intact (most notably the LASER). She would have to hack it off afterwards, though, b/c the disengage is solid-state, as is the communications array and the watch function ("what time is it?" "idk, my watch only has a LASER on it"). Okay, now you everything you could possibly want to know (and many things you don't) about Penny's awesome watch.

**Just in case you really wanted to know, Jackie, Uncle, Tohru, and Gadget had tea, Penny had milk, Brain had an energy drink, and Captain Black walked in with a cup of coffee.

***Okay, so maybe she didn't actually say that, but in retrospect, it would have been pretty awesome.


	10. Chapter 9

Okay, I admit it: the last chapter was a bit skimpy. Our heroes meet up and our protagonist was sent to china…not the most interesting developments (though I think Penny made quite the first impression, no?). You want to see some violence, correct? If so, this chapter will disappoint. Or not. I haven't actually written any of the chapter at the time in which I am writing this paragraph, but I have enough plot points for the next two chapters, so we'll see how this goes.

For those of you who read my distrac-uh…I mean, my extra story, how did you like it? Was it worth your time? I hope so, b/c otherwise my soul will ache with…aw, who am I kidding. I'm white! I don't have a soul, and I'm proud of it!

Okay, so I am going to try to get this out in as short a time as possible. I have a (mostly) free weekend, and classical dubstep (how great is that?) to keep me company. Next up is some Lindsey Stirling :). (Hehe, word autocorrects to a little smiley emoticon). One might say: "_why classical dubstep?_" Well, it doesn't have any words. Have you ever been typing and suddenly the music lyrics form on the page? It's like I'm on the highway to hell…see what I've done? Confused? Then maybe you should brush up on some good music, or be blinded…by the light (no?). Whatever, it doesn't really matter if we make it or not! XD I'm not that amusing, but my attempts to be usually are.

As always, asterisks represent more detailed explanation/research on the current subject (such as technology and terminology). They aren't usually essential to understanding the story, but people seem to like them (at least I haven't heard any complaints…), and I admit that I take pride in bringing the most scientifically accurate material I can to the figurative table (as I don't often use one when typing), or at least as scientifically accurate as a magical fantasy multi-fiction fusion adventure can be.

Again, the title has a lot of thought put into it, and is important, as it really sets up the entire chapter. If I can't think of a good title, then I don't write anything until I do. If you haven't already skipped all of this, then I applaud you *applauds*, and will your true name has been written down in the record of this universe, so that you may be reincarnated in the next one. Now you can laugh at all the suckers who didn't read this while you're reading the best authors…in the next universe (though of course, due to properties of space-time fluctuation, it will be as if they never existed, so you couldn't really laugh at them, but whatever).

Chapter 9

Rift of Divergence

Jade Nishimori was a seemingly tireless machine of ruthless efficiency. No one ever saw her sleep or show the slightest sign of fatigue. A few associates had wondered if she was actually a robot, but their misgivings were quickly displaced when she ate and drank like everyone else. She was often seen at all times of the day and night, and she was one of the few "24-hour" agents, which meant that she could be called to any assignment without warning.

This did not mean that she was never fatigued; in fact, a large rush of adrenaline and over a day without sleep before the flight to china-during which she had plans to finalize, reports to write, and calls to make- had wearied her. This was not a one-time thing; she often felt a bit strained as shorter missions turned into much longer ones, such as now. This would be quite the problem if she had not mastered an extremely useful practice: meditation*. When Master Xu brought it up (he was giving her a quick lecture on the history of some different types of martial arts), she hadn't thought much of it, but when she heard about the possible benefits, she decided to try it out. Sitting in her room, she had closed her eyes and concentrated on nothing in particular, not expecting what came next. The feeling was hard to describe…not floating, more of a controlled fall through empty space. Her consciousness, no, her point of view, had shifted to the center of her being. She wasn't sure what to do next; she wanted to stay in that state for as long as possible, but she could feel it slipping away…feel _herself_ slipping away to the fullness of reality. She was astonished, to say the least. Hours had passed, and she had been aware of the time, her surroundings, but simultaneously it had seemed but a moment in that timeless pocket of higher awareness, a fleeting glimpse of what many described as "nirvana".

From that point on, Jade had read all she could on the subject, practicing regularly and experimenting with new techniques. For some reason, it came easily to her, sloughing off physical distractions and immersing herself in meditation for hours at a time. She found it exceedingly convenient to meditate in lieu of sleep, as she remained aware throughout.

So she sat down on the floor of the plane** (her position didn't really matter, but it was the style she was most comfortable with), closed her eyes, and spent the rest of the trip in silent meditation.

* * *

_Section 13, ten hours ago…_

Captain Black looked a bit skeptical. "China?"

Penny resumed her presentation, the projector now showing a satellite photo cropped to show a particular building. "Yeah. To be precise, M.A.D. intends to hit The Palace Museum. Unfortunately, I have no idea just _what_ they are going to steal." She shrugged apologetically.

Black sighed. "All right, I'll get Interpol; have local law enforcement take care of it."

"I wouldn't if I were you, sir." Before Black could protest, Penny addressed the room again. "Sorry, Captain, but the police just aren't going to cut it. M.A.D. is sending in their best agent for the job; Dr. Claw only sends them to do the most difficult and important tasks, so we can infer that there is something very important in that museum that Claw needs, or his plan fails."

It was Jackie's turn to speak up. "What can you tell us about this agent?"

"Not much, but I think showing you will be more expedient." Tapping a key, Penny called up a rather grainy shot of what seemed to be some sort of compound captured from an aerial view. "This was taken two months ago by a drone I was test-running after I got a tip that Claw was sending his top agent to deal with a renegade smuggler in Brazil who tried to blackmail him by refusing to send him the merchandise he asked for." Looking closely, one could make out a darkly clad individual making their way to the front gate, where multiple men stood guard. More men, presumably guards, patrolled the grounds with various high-powered weapons. "This," Penny jumped ahead to the next slide, "was taken five minutes later." The next shot was from a slightly different angle, and showed the same individual inside the courtyard, surrounded by a few guards; the rest sprawled out on the ground, displaying a path of devastation reaching back to the main entrance. The agent was caught in mid-strike, their leg seeming to rest on one of the opponent's necks. "And five minutes after that, they're gone." Penny didn't bother to show another photo, instead zooming in on the agent, the pixilation causing the image to become even more distorted.

"Are you saying that one man took out an entire smuggling operation singlehanded? That's damn impressive. I should get him to sign up here." Black was joking, mostly. Tag, his best agent, was remarkable in the field, but even he wouldn't be able to resolve a similar situation so quickly.

Penny scowled. "One, we don't know the gender of the agent, though it's likely a "him"; and two, due to the fact that they _killed_ fifteen men with an obviously blatant disregard for human life, I doubt they'll take you up on your offer."

Black just opened and closed his mouth, no sound escaping. Jackie was disgusted. "Are you saying Claw employs a killer to steal for him?"

"It gets worse. I tried to discover the agent's identity, but all I could find were old mission orders. I Cross-referenced the places and times with media entries, and what I found was…" She shook her head and pulled out a list. "[Phoenix, drug lord who got out of line, twenty-seven dead. Rome, gallery theft, two dead. Meyrin Switzerland, Laboratory raid, five dead. Kyoto, arms deal gone bad, eighteen dead…fourteen dead…twenty dead…]" She raised her head, a steely glint in her eyes. "This person is extremely dangerous, a cold-blooded mass-murderer who makes Ted Bundy*** look like a misunderstood child. I've seen the coroner reports: the severity of the beatings point to a hedonistic killer-one who derives some sort of pleasure from crushing a person with their bare hands." Penny pulled a face, remembering the concealed horror and repulsion in the doctor's notes, the gruesome photographs of the victims' mangled features.

There was a moment of silence before Captain Black made a decision (he was a good leader because he made tough decisions and acted where others would waffle). "All right, priority mission, we're going to China. We leave in an hour. Whatever you don't have we'll get there." He turned to Uncle and Tohru "I don't know what they're trying to steal, but if that magical urn is any indication, we may need your expertise." The Chans and Tohru left, Uncle muttering about not knowing what to pack, and how he had to do "Reeeeesearch!" on the Néngyuán container.

Black was left with Gadget, Penny, and Brain looking at him expectantly. "Gadget, you have experience fighting M.A.D., I'll need you on the scene." He swung his gaze to the left (his left, not yours). "You, um…"

"Penny." Penny supplied helpfully.

"…Right. Penny. You can come along if you want, but only if your Uncle is okay with it, and you have to stay at base-ops; I don't want you going anywhere near that maniac." Normally, he wouldn't even think of letting a teenager accompany them, but she was obviously mature for her age, and well informed…a little _too_ well-informed. He doubted her information came from legal sources. Hell, even the spy-drone seemed pretty iffy. He would have to have a serious talk with her about following the law in the near future, but for now he had much bigger fish to fry.

* * *

_Close to an hour later…_

Tohru walked in heavily, weighted down by a number of large tomes he was carrying-research for the flight over-followed by Uncle (who was complaining of pressure changes being bad for his bones), and Jackie, who was carrying two large duffels, as well as a small suitcase for himself (as his job called for extensive travel, he had long learned how to pack light). Gadget and Penny were already there, the inspector having told Chief Quimby of the latest developments, who promptly gave him permission to go. Black walked in a bit late, apologizing briefly. "Sorry, had to give orders on what to do while I'm gone."

Jackie raised his brows, only slightly surprised that his old friend was accompanying them. He must be worried about the whole "destroy everything from here to Dublin" thing; Jackie couldn't blame him, he was anxious as well.

Right as they were about to board the plane, however (Black had chartered a Section 13 jet and got authorization to land in Beijing, not the easiest task for a black-ops arm of the government normally, but the Chinese owed him a few favors), an agent ran up to them. "Captain Black! There are two members of the CSI here…with a signed order from the president!" Black cursed under his breath. _"Of all the times…I knew the CSI would come _eventually_, but they have terrible timing." _He sighed and patted Jackie on the shoulder. "Sorry, pal, looks like you'll have to do without me on this one." As he walked away, he gave them a two-fingered salute.

Jackie wondered what the CSI was doing there, but assumed they wanted Black to consult on a case or something like that. Getting on the plane, he deposited the luggage in their proper places and took a seat in one of the dozen comfortable reclining chairs, truly relaxing for the first time in hours. His rest was short-lived as Uncle plopped four books in various states of dustiness onto his lap. "No time for rest, must find out more about the Néngyuán container you acquired." Jackie groaned, but complied, beginning to pour through the condensed, confusing scripts.

* * *

Penny watched as Uncle (what an odd name), Tohru, and Jackie searched through random books. She tapped Uncle on the shoulder, and his head spun around to focus a biting glare on her. Penny, undaunted, asked her question. "What are you looking for, anyways?"

"Information on the Néngyuán container. If we find out it's uses and related items, we may find out what this M.A.D. character is up to."

Penny didn't put much faith in magic, but she had an open mind. "Can I help?'

Uncle looked at her scathingly (to be fair, he did that to everyone). "Can you read ancient Chinese dialect, hmmm?"

"I dabble."

Uncle simply huffed and shoved a few books into her hands. Taking that as a dismissal, Penny went to work.

Now, you may find it odd that a young girl such as Penny would know any ancient languages, but an inquisitive mind, free time, and a rather high IQ can create quite the knowledge base. Now, Penny wasn't a linguistic genius, but she had spent enough time working with various languages that she had created translating software that incorporated many programs for individual languages, as well as a few she helped develop, to create a high-functioning amalgam of knowledge that she was actually fairly proud of. She accessed it and was soon absorbed in the translating process. Gadget chatted with the section 13 agents about everything from gardening to football.

* * *

Hours passed, and they broke for lunch, which Tohru prepared in the plane's kitchen area (it was quite the fancy plane), allowing Penny to help. More time flowed by uneventfully, until there was a sudden exclamation. Everyone turned towards the noise and found, to their surprise, Brain pointing to a place in a large volume that was in a language unrecognizable to everyone present…besides Uncle, of course. "Aiyaaaah! Now Uncle has seen EEEverything, a dog reading Abjad-Phoenician!**** Let Uncle see what you've got here." Uncle adjusted his glasses and peered at the page for a long moment. " Hmmm….I see what you mean; there is mention of an age-old vessel of energy here that warrants further study….this may be just what we are looking for." Everyone stared at Uncle, waiting. He looked up from the page, annoyed. "Stop bothering Unce! You think Uncle can just translate rare Phoenician manuscript like it's Macedonian? No! Now go away!"*****

* * *

Penny gazed out the window at the expansive metropolis. Beijing, over six thousand square miles with a population of around twenty million, with enough historical sites to keep tourists around for weeks; home of the Great Wall, Tiananmen Square, the Temple of Heaven.

The Forbidden City.

[End Chapter 9]

* * *

Welcome to the wonderful world of line breaks! On a different note, I didn't even think this chapter would go the way it did, so I didn't get everything I wanted to in ("then why didn't you just write more, cracker?" | "...shut up."). The title still works, but I would put more in if it wouldn't just make it obnoxiously long (like 2-3 chapters...I meant obnoxious to ME, damnit). No checking my work as per usual, so any glaring mistakes just tell me. Please. A while ago someone told me that at the beginning of chapter 2 I said "or the the car in the parking light with it's headlights on"...that's the kind of stuff I'm talking about.

They're all at the city, ok? Well I guess that it's more like they're in the airspace above it, but that still counts, as they'll be on the ground next chapter. Sorry it's taking so long, but there were a lot of things that needed to be done. I was getting too many asterisks there XD. Five in a row? Ridiculous.

Okay, so I got sick Monday, and started really feeling it Tuesday, so I went down to target (yes, they have those in Canada), got myself a bottle of Nyquil and downed a few doses. Some people fall asleep with the ingestion of antihistamines. I am not one of those people. It says to not overdose, but I almost always do with these things (either that or mix and match XD). Not working? Simply take more every two hours or so (less on an empty stomach, as it metabolizes more quickly) until the effects are felt. Dayquil doesn't even do anything for me. So yeah, that's my story, how're things with you?

Oh, and Néngyuán is just the Chinese word for energy. Now you know (props to those of you who just thought _"and knowing is half the battle!"_).

*There are many forms of meditation, and the practices and effects vary accordingly, but all involve a concentration technique (such as staring at a flame, or repeating a menial task) as a basic ritual. Many things have been attributed to meditation: from closeness to a divine being, a superior sense of self, better focus, reduction of stress; to levitation, invisibility, colossal strength, ESP, and immortality. Now, some of these claims are extremely unlikely, but meditation has been known to cause a significant boon to health, balance, creativity, and intelligence. Jade, being incredibly adept at meditation, can actually cut down on the hours of sleep she requires by meditating. It is nigh on impossible to _not_ sleep, but it is possible for a master to reduce sleep to about 2 hours a day. Neat, huh? I have reached states of meditation before, but I am neither well versed nor skilled in the art. I have taken no lessons and have a paltry amount of information on the subject, but this is probably similar to what meditation is like. If you are an expert (all you monks out there reading this…shame on you for indulging in the pleasures of the world), then feel free to correct me, otherwise this shall be regarded as fact.

**This is, of course, a private M.A.D. jet, so she can sit wherever _le_ _baise_ she wants (pardon my French). See? That's how "pardon my French" should be used. On a side note, one of my favorites movies is Cyrano de Bergerac (it ranks up there with V for Vendetta and Twelve Angry Men)…I'm saddened by the fact that many people haven't seen any of those great movies, but grudgingly accept that the era of great movies has reached it's twilight. *lets bad pun sink in* Yes, a bit of a long setup, but I think the results speak for them-…do I hear crickets?

***Yes, I know Ted Bundy wasn't a mass-murderer, he was a serial killer with a twisted personality, but there aren't any widely known mass-murderers, so for comparison purposes he counts. The list? Those are a few of Jade's previous missions. I may make a career timeline for Jade, but to be honest, that sounds really tiring atm, so no promises. Yes, she is a bit violent, but I have already hinted at why that is, and will probably address it later.

****All right, I cheated to make it sound cooler. Abjad is simply the type that the Phoenician alphabet falls into, it being a consonant-based writing system with vowels interjected by the reader. Why can Brain read this? Maybe you'll find out...

*****Accurate translation takes a long time, even if you are incredibly skilled like Uncle is. One must take into account the time period from which it came, the context, and the most likely word to translate the symbols into (some symbols only have a rough English translation or contain ideas that are hard to put into different languages). For example, there is a symbol in the Olmec writing system that can translate to either "heart" or "soul". If you translated it incorrectly, you may think they were quite similar to the Aztecs in nature (that is, if you didn't know that the Olmecs came first, so technically the Aztecs would be similar to them), but in context find that it refers to "a being that is within the body, yet separate", which is undoubtedly the soul.


	11. Chapter 10

All right, so this chapter I am thanking all sentient beings who read and reviewed my story, most prevalently the two who have been reading it from the start, and have left me some very slightly encouraging reviews. Thanks guys!*

*The term "guys" referring to a subset of people in general, not literally a bunch of males.

Ugh…for some reason my document was saved as a read-only file. Copy n' paste, you are my friend.

So…YAY! Chapter 10! Woot! I am REALLY tired atm…okay scratch that…I have been more weary in the past, like the time I had to stay awake for a little over three days (it seems a lot easier than it is, especially when it's below freezing…you burn more energy that way). N-E-Weighz, I am floating on my dopamine high I got from working out a bit (woot again!), but I'll try and get this chapter going before I turn in ("turn in what?" | "…I'm going to sleep, moron.").

Okay, ages of characters? Here ya go:

Jade: 15  
Penny: 16  
Brain: A timeless uncertainty  
Jackie: Around 40 (?)  
Gadget: actual 10-12, apparent 32-34, mental ?*  
Claw: 53 (at least that's what _he_ says)  
Frankie: 37 (though he looks considerably older)

To tell the truth, I was originally going to have Jade be older than Penny, but decided to, well…not do that. Don't ask why, all my decisions are completely arbitrary (okay, so I was going for a thing where there is a vast disparity in their natures, and Penny being younger yet more mature would somehow amplify that, I thought. However, since it didn't really matter that much, I decided that since Penny's character was "born" first, she should be older, no?). Just to be clear, they are only about half a year apart, so they will be sixteen at the same time. Huh. Don't be surprised if a future chapter is entitled "sweet sixteen" XD…is it sad that I'm not joking?

*Gadget is a robot (well, _maybe_ an android, but whatever), and anything he had from his human mind (if he did have one) was downloaded (or perhaps completely fabricated) to it. Even if he used to be a human being, he is no longer (as it has been proven that many organs play a relevant role in creating emotions/likes/dislikes; Gadget has none, so it is to be expected that many feelings/tastes are beyond him). On the plus side, he has a helicopter hat.

I don't actually like writing stories, I just do it so I can elucidate my random theories and thoughts on asinine ideas. That said, lets get to the story.

This took SO long to get the title right…blargh. Then when I was done I had to revise it X| -(blargh face)

Okay, I must have terrible taste in acquaintances, because no one told me of the overwhelming awesomeness that is Game of Thrones. I watched all of the first two seasons, and found out the next one comes out tomorrow! (I might have squealed if my voice didn't have a range of one octave in the lower decibels. I have perfect tone, pitch, and beat though; a shame, really.)

As some may have surmised from the above statement, this chapter took over two weeks to write, even though it really shouldn't have. I got writers' block 3/4 of the way through (ugh) so I guess I may have done something wrong. Tell me if there is a problem/contradiction and I will fix it, b/c I hate things like that (okay, strongly dislike, whatever).

Chapter 10

_Embattling Minds _

***chhhhk* **"Attention, passengers; this is your captain speaking. We are now making the final approach into Beijing Capital International Airport, so strap yourselves in and get ready to land. The current temperature is fifteen degrees, weather is slightly cloudy, and there is a strong breeze coming in from the southeast. An agent will meet you on the runway to take you to base-ops. Good luck out there."

Penny saw the concerned look on Jackie's face as he rummaged through his bag. "Did you forget something important?"

He shook his head. "No, I just didn't pack a jacket; I didn't think it would be this cold. You know, I-" He broke off as Penny started laughing. "…what?"

"You've been living in America too long, Mr. Chan. It's fifteen degrees _centigrade_, not Fahrenheit." She suppressed her mirth and began gathering her things. Jackie followed suit, but not before he heard a snort of amusement from behind. Turning swiftly to identify the culprit, he saw Tohru with his head buried in a book. He glared at him a moment before grabbing a few bags and exiting the aircraft.

* * *

An hour and some odd minutes later found the sextet seated comfortably in a large hotel room with a view of the Forbidden City. Penny looked around appreciatively "What was this, the Kapok*? I guess being black ops has its advantages."

The streets were predictably busy, filled with tourists from all over the world-mainly America and Europe-and of course the indigenous population. With an average of over twenty-thousand visitors a day rushing past their location, some extremely intelligent designer had added soundproof walls, imbuing within visitors a sense of calm and peace, as well as privacy.

The privacy was appreciated, as five Section 13 members had already set up base-various pieces of equipment taking up an entire wall-with which to surveil key points within the City and to conduct operations; namely, the capture of M.A.D. agents and the prevention of the theft they intended to carry out.

They were briefed by Broyles**, a senior agent who had worked extensively in Asia, making him de facto leader of this task force.

"Listen up, people. You all know why we are here, but just to be clear, this is top priority. You might be wondering how a black-ops division of the American government is in the middle of China's capital performing a sting operation in a sacred historical site without opposition. The fact that they are cooperating fully shows just how dire this threat truly is. The Chinese authorities have been trying to catch this individual for three years; they believe they are connected to the death of a cabinet member named Sun Deming, who was suspected of collaborating with M.A.D., but was killed before he could be interrogated." He paused for a moment, looking everyone in the eye. "This is going down in six hours, so be ready. Lives may depend on it."

There was a general shuffle as people got about their business, and Broyles turned to Jackie. "Mr. Chan, I'm going to need you and Mr. Gadget to accompany me in a few hours to canvas the museum and set up an ambush to catch this guy. Since we don't know what he is going to try to steal, we have a lot of ground to cover, but we can't have too much manpower in the actual museum or they might catch on to what we are doing. The Ministry of State Security*** has given us permission to set up sensors throughout the museum to alert us to the point of intrusion. They are also standing by with fifty plainclothes to cut off any route of escape. Rest up; I'll come get you when it's time to go."

"You can count on me, Agent Broyles." Jackie shook his hand, and then watched as Broyles swept out of the room.

"Jackieeeee! Come help with research while Uncle translates manuscript!" Jackie walked over to the twin beds where Tohru had deposited his load of books. A desk was set up in between the two chi wizards and Penny. Suppressing a sigh, he sat down next to Tohru, selected a dusty volume from the pile, and began pouring through it

* * *

_A few hours earlier…_

"A pleasure to meet you, miss Nishimori. My name is Geng Huicheng****, and I shall be your contact for the duration of your stay in Beijing. If you need anything, I will do my best to acquire it for you."

Jade looked down on the man, quite literally, as he was a full head shorter than she was (which was quite odd, given that she was barely five feet-a trait that frequently annoyed her). He looked old, but had a distinguished air about him, and for some reason she found herself staring at him.

* * *

Geng Huicheng had met many powerful people in his life-ambassadors, CEOs, military and political leaders, and prominent members of the underworld-but none had struck such fear into his heart as did the girl standing in front of him. When she locked eyes with him, what he saw was an empty void, an overwhelming blackness that chilled him to the bone. That in itself would be unsettling, but as he peered closer, he saw a flash of…he didn't know how to describe it. Not evil, no. Something far more sinister, the pure embodiment of chaos, the essence of heedless destruction, and the desire for the world to die screaming. If given a choice, he would follow his instinct and put as much distance between them as possible; but he had a job to do, so he put on his well-worn poker face and led her to the car.

* * *

Jade noticed Huicheng flinch slightly before a smile formed on his face; it fell short of his eyes. "Right this way, then". She nodded, and they made the half-hour drive to a M.A.D. owned inn right on East Chang'an Avenue, not far from the Forbidden City. She got the number from the receptionist and went upstairs to find that a few interior walls had been knocked down to create a much larger space. Walking inside, she found a few large cases, a couple of computers, and a middle-aged Caucasian man inspecting a large blueprint spread out on a round table occupying the center of the room. She rarely made a sound when she moved, but she let her foot scuff the ground slightly to announce her presence. Bartholomew Herbert looked up, his affable demeanor seeming to brighten his surroundings. "Well, if it isn't the little whirlwind of death." He said it like it was an endearing nickname, a small chuckle accompanying it. "I had just landed in Japan when I got the call and was rushed over here. I heard you asked for me, all special-like."

"You're the best at what you do, and this mission is highest priority. Has Newby*5 arrived yet?"

"He got here before me, but wasn't here when I arrived. Apparently there were some things he had to take care of in the City." He shrugged.

Jade nodded and checked her watch "Good, he's on task, then. How are the other preparations coming?"

Frankie waved her over, and pointed to a small yellow X near their current location "I made some calls; we should have it ready in a few hours." Walking over to a computer, he typed in a few commands and a detailed schematic of the Palace Museum*6 appeared on the wall to his left. He indicated a smaller structure in the northwest of the City. "Our target is located here. The security won't be a problem-their system is so simple I probably didn't even need to hack in. They do have quite a few guards, but they patrol in predictable patterns, and if all goes well, they won't even know you were there." He looked at her, a grin on his face.

"What is it?"

"Just the item in question we are stealing. It seems…fitting…that you should be the one to obtain it." His smile grew wider "After this, maybe we should hold up a hot dog stand."

Jade's face twitched so imperceptibly that Frankie thought he must have imagined it. She pulled out her briefing folder and opened it to the third page, which featured a picture of a large, egg-shaped green gem.

Jade is a very general term for a diverse smattering of gems and crystals with varying colors (anything from white to blue/green to pink/lavender, spotted, translucent, etc.) and properties. Jadeite is a rare form of jade, and is in fact one of the rarer gemstones. The price varies greatly due to the many different types of jade. This particular specimen was massive, a pure deep green jadeite egg over six inches tall. What Dr. Claw wanted it for, Jade didn't know-or care, for that matter. Maybe he wanted a really fancy paperweight.

* * *

_Meanwhile, at the legion of d-…I mean, at M.A.D. headquarters…_

The most prominent villain of the past three decades leaned back in his ridiculously large swivel chair. He liked to think he didn't adhere to most villain stereotypes, but he indulged in them every now and then. He heard the door open, the idiosyncratic gait identifying his visitor as The Professor (it also helped that he had called for him just minutes ago). Claw swiveled slowly around to face him, stroking M.A.D. cat. "I assume you know why I called you here, Professor?"

The M.A.D. scientist clapped his hands together gleefully "Ah yes, of course. You wanted to know how well the weapon is coming along." He stood there expectantly.

"…and?"

"We have acquired almost all of the components. There were a few complications, but only one major loss…" He ruffled through a few reports. "The team we sent to San Francisco failed to retrieve the Néngyuán container there. There was a confrontation with The Dark Hand, and before they could escape with the container the cops showed up, so they had to leave it."

M.A.D. cat gave a snort of annoyance. "And what of the jade?"

"I put Jade*7 on it, and gave her top priority clearance for any resources she might need. I checked in with her an hour ago, and they have the heist planned for tonight…well, night over there, at least. Once we have the gem it will just take me a while to calibrate the weapon, then we begin testing." The maniacal glint in his eyes made Claw glad that the science facility was a few hundred feet away from the castle, underground, and on the opposite side of the castle from his accommodations.

"Good. Keep me apprised of the situation." Claw watched The Professor go while he stroked his cat, who purred contentedly.

* * *

_Hours later; Beijing, China…_

Penny stood up and stretched, setting down the tome she had been reading. They had gone through about ten volumes between them, and though she now knew more about ancient weather conditions in the Mediterranean and Southeast Asia, there was no reference to any Néngyuán containers. She hoped that Uncle was having better luck. Jackie and Tohru had left a sometime in the middle of her second text to go stake out the museum. She glanced at Uncle-who was immersed in that same Phoenician manuscript Brain had found on the plane-then walked over to a bank of screens and sat down to wait.

* * *

Jackie was crouched behind a Shishi*8 a few hundred feet north of the gate of peace and tranquility, which was right next to a palace of the same name. Broyles had a techie map out a geometric pattern to get the best coverage of the area, but they were still spread a bit thin. Tohru was positioned at the main gate, as he indubitably had the most stopping power of anyone present. Jackie didn't have a gun for two reasons. For starters, he didn't have a license (not that bringing one to foreign soil would be easy even if he did), and secondly, the Chinese officials had asked that the use of firearms be limited while in the Palace grounds. In Jackie's experience, this was a good idea, as the breaking of priceless works of art was almost an inevitability when guns were involved.

So he crouched, waiting for the signal, for the perpetrator to make himself known. He didn't know much about M.A.D., but if they were anything like The Dark Hand, they needed to be stopped.

* * *

Jade walked in as Newby was finishing gearing up. "Ready?"

He hefted a small duffel "Yeah, all set here."

She looked around slowly, making sure everything was in order. Seeing that everything was to her satisfaction, she grabbed a radio and clipped it to her belt.

"Let's move out."

[End Chapter 10]

Oookaaay then. I finished another chapter. Sorry for the long wait. [insert believable explanation here-they can never know you were just being a lazy punk-ass].

Yes, this chapter isn't long, but it isn't short either. I tried, damnit.

I would leave a teaser for next chapter, but I think it's fairly obvious what is going to happen, so yeah…

I'm really tired (too much Ultimate Frisbee) so I bid you good day.

_**Addendum:**_

**Dictionary**: Embattling, verb (used with object), preparing for war.

*The Kapok is a rather posh (yes, I said it) Hotel only 220 yards from the Forbidden City (at least that's what it boasted on the home page). The suite that our plucky lass (well, she's probably at least part Irish…it's fairly common; over half of the continental army was Irish, and you know what they say about people with red hair…*suggestive eyebrow wiggle*) is in is a Kapok suite: 100 square meters of fancy living (positively massive for Beijing) that goes for exactly 787 USD as of April first (no significance should be allocated to the date).

**Sorry, I've been re-watching fringe, and I needed a filler character, so here we are. I hope it's not in-FRINGE-ment XD (dun dun…ksshh).

***The MSS is the Chinese equivalent of the CIA and Homeland Security rolled into one. They are the leading organization for foreign intelligence, and are directly involved in the nations' internal affairs. You know how we had the red scare, that whole anti-commie thing? They had the same thing, only their mission statement is "the security of the state through effective measures against enemy agents, spies, and counter-revolutionary activities designed to sabotage or overthrow China's socialist system", so I guess it would be the "Night of Candy Canes" scare (get it? Red and white stripes with stars on a dark blue background lol LOL ROFL ROTFLMBFAOAYIMCWEAB-rolling on the floor laughing my big fat ass off at you in my car whilst eating a burrito XD…I think I may have some mental problems…I don't even like burritos). Whatever. Frivolous ramblings aside, you get the point, eh?

****Just in case you are wondering, I am not referring to the current head of the MSS; I just needed a Chinese name and my internet was down. This particular character is spry for his seventy-odd years of age, knows six languages, and can read a person like a book. That last skill has made him well-versed in politics, which has allowed to amass connections in various parts of the world (though he mostly works out of China).

*5Okay, so fanfiction doesn't support superscript, but I hardly think "*****" is any better. Newby is the guy's surname-he has been with M.A.D. for about five years now.

*6 It would be remiss of me if I did not include the actual (official) schematic here: ChinaReport/Beijing/MapsofBeijing/Forbidden_City-G ugong_Maps/Forbidden_City-Official_Schematic_ Obviously, many things I describe will be inaccurate (read: completely fabricated), as I have never had the pleasure of going there. C'est la vie, I suppose.

*7 Though superiors will usually refer to their subordinates by their family name, The Professor knows that Nishimori is a complete fabrication, and rather than risking accidentally calling her "Chan", he just calls her Jade (he _is_ a tad bit scatterbrained at times).

*8 A Shishi is a Chinese guardian lion (direct translation: stone lion). They don't look much like a lion, but it's the closest one can get to describing them. Just look it up, you've probably seen one before, and just didn't know what it was called.


	12. Chapter 11

Hello there, neighbor.

I doubt many of you know who Mr. Rogers was, but for those of you who do, I'll let you bask in the reminiscence for a while.

…okay, that's probably enough. I know that many of you are looking forward to this next chapter, as it portends to be quite climactic. I regret to inform you that this section is a dreary Shakespearian lovelorn monologue in free-verse poetic style accompanied by country music. *phew* If that didn't get your expectations down, I don't know what will. Now anything I write will seem like an inspired act of [insert deity/divine power/respected historical figure with near superhuman abilities or mental outlook here]! Muahahahahaaa! My evil plan has come to fruition! (Just by the way, nothing against Shakespeare, but he _does_ tend to write ridiculous monologues; also, I find him boring).

Now that expectations are down, I have to build a little suspense so that you'll actually read it (because otherwise, what's the point?).

*Ahem*

_Warning: Violence ahead._

That's right, the age old tradition that outstrips any holiday or ritual practice: People coming together with cheer in their hearts to watch other people beat the shit out of each other. However, these are not the brutal beatings of backwards barbarians, but the more modern, less alliterative version with the promise* of explosions!

*No explosions related to violent behavior guaranteed. Limit one explosion per reader, per visit. Author is not responsible for any presumed lack of quality regarding said explosion, nor any rage incurred by the reader.

Alright, let's get it started in HAH…what? Let me try that again…

Let's get it started in here. There we go, don't know what happened there (too much DDR?). You may wonder what all this random drivel is about. I would tell you, but the voices in my head keep insisting I don't.

I apologize, that was a terrible fib: only two of them are adamant about it; another three are on the fence, and the rest just don't care.

Chapter 11

_A Contention of Chans**_

Silence. A man's silhouette could be seen standing in front of a large, dimly lit screen. He reached forward and depressed a button.

Then, out of the darkness, came a low, grating voice. "Commence the operation." The man turned to gaze lovingly at the large object barely visible in the gloom. "_Soon, my life's work shall be complete. I am so close to attaining it…the ultimate power."_ …and he would use it, too. Use it to reshape the world in Dr. Claw's image. He smiled, pushing up the glasses on his nose. Of course, with any such power comes a price, and this case was no exception. Fortunately, he would not be acting as the catalyst for the experiment. No, that role was reserved for someone else…

_Nearly ten thousand kilometers away…_

Jade sighed inwardly. She would never understand The Professor's flair for the dramatic. There was no need for him to actually say anything: the operation had been perfectly timed; she had spent hours going over every detail and had scheduled their break-in accordingly. Still, he was her superior, and that came with certain privileges, the foremost being that he could act however he wanted with impunity. She glanced over at her comrades and gave the signal. With barely a sound, they used the camouflaged ladder set up earlier to climb over the encircling wall. That done, they made their towards their destination-Ying Hua Dian, the Hall of Exuberance. The name suggests some grand affair, but it was a small building separated from the others by springs and gardens; quite nice, really. Jade and Newby stood at the ready on either side of the door as Frankie set up. He had a large piece of electronic equipment, and various smaller implements that he manipulated with practiced ease.

* * *

Frankie chuckled at the pathetic security. The cameras had been child's play; they now ran on a five-minute loop. He had come expecting the worst, but they didn't even have Abloy locks, just a simple pin tumbler. He tsked and shook his head-a few seconds later and the door was unlocked. Taking out a small scanner, he looked carefully for any electronic tripwires, then opened the door slightly and checked for the regular kind. Finding no sign of either, he was just about to give the go ahead when his device gave a small beep. "Fuck!" He spun around and pressed a button on the machine. Instantly*** a loud noise blasted in his ear, and he clutched his head, cursing his bad luck.

* * *

Jackie nearly jumped out of skin when his phone exploded, letting out a jarring spurt of static before going silent. _"What the heck happened?"_ Retrieving the smoldering plastic from his belt, he saw that the device was now useless. He took out his radio-an old piece of junk- to call it in.

* * *

Pain. Death. Laughter. Blood. Stop it pain, death, laughter, blood. Make It Sto-PAINDEATHLAUGHTERBLOOD-

Jade fell to one knee, clutching her head. What the fuck? What was happening to h- "ergh". She closed her eyes against the onslaught of…she didn't know what, and the pain subsided quickly. She raised her head to see the other two staring at her. "What the hell did you do, Frankie?"

* * *

Frankie had only known Jade for a few days, but Newby had been working with her for years, and had gotten used to her stoic behavior. He had never seen her laugh or cry; she had the same expression while she was eating that she did as she was gutting a man and ripping out his spinal cord (not a sight he would care to see again). It was somewhat creepy, but he had to admit that it made her an effective agent. So he, more than most, had reason to start when he saw her face. He would have run, but he was rooted to the ground with fear.

* * *

Frankie had just removed the broken earpiece from his…well…ear, when he heard a grunt and a thud. Turning, he saw Jade breathing heavily, pressing her fingers to her scalp and grimacing in pain. Before he could ask if she was all right, she gave another grunt and brought her eyes up to bear on him. He had no words for it, but the closest he could come to describing her expression was…predatory. Her eyes seemed to acquire a reddish tinge, her face scrunched up in pain, and she bared her teeth to create such a mask of unmitigated rage that for a moment Frankie forgot to breathe. He knew who she was, but some primal instinct screamed at him that the being in front of him was unnatural, a blight of pure evil that would wipe out humanity if given the chance, a thing- it couldn't be described as anything else-that took pleasure from the agony of its victims, and he was its next target.

The feeling passed as suddenly as it had arrived, a fleeting memory of darkness left only a lingering sensation of doubt. Frankie barely heard Jade's question; focusing back on the task at hand, he raised his hands apologetically. "Sorry about that. I thought I got all the cameras down, but there were more rigged on to a separate system. I set off an EMP**** that was powerful enough to kill everything in a two mile radius, but I don't know if they saw us or not." He looked at her now impassive face, concern evident in his eyes. "…are you okay?"

"I must have had a bad reaction to the pulse…I'm fine now."

* * *

_A few hundred meters to the east…_

Penny looked over the eight large screens that showed shots canvassing the buildings that constituted the PalaceMuseum. She, along with two other Section 13 agents, had been monitoring the screens for the past half hour (though Penny had set up a movement sensing program, the cameras weren't the best quality, so manual checks were necessary), when a large burst of white noise erupted from the monitors before they shorted out and went black. _"What the hell…?"_

As the agents rushed to try and fix the problem, Penny dashed over to her computer and flipped open the lid. Much to her relief, the OS resumed without a hitch (it had been on standby mode). She shook her head; _"and they wanted to reduce the military budget."_ Thanks to some (mostly) lawful maneuvering and a rather large monetary expense, she had gotten access to some really neat hardware that was not yet available to the general public (speaking of Generals, this acquisition was due-in part-to one owing her a favor). Making sure her connection was good*****, she accessed the camera cloud drive (they were meant for surveillance, so they had barely any storage space, but since the footage might be needed later as evidence, it was still stored) and brought up the five seconds before the EMP went off. She looked through the footage carefully, scanning for any inconsistencies in the frames. _"Hmm…nothing seems o- wait, what was that?"_ She went back ten seconds and replayed the clip. The camera (#017, in case you wanted to know) was pointed at a door in a dimly lit room. As she watched, she saw the door inch forward slowly and caught a glimpse of a calloused hand before it drew away hurriedly. A second later, the screen filled with static and went black.

Checking the camera grid on the wall, Penny rushed towards the communications array, but stopped herself when she realized that it was a smoking pile of scrap metal. She smacked herself in the forehead. Stupid, of course the headsets would be useless. Searching her memory, she remembered that there weren't enough headsets for everyone (there were a few unexpected arrivals), so someone had to make do with an old radio. Turning, she practically yelled at the agents. "Quick, who was given a radio instead of a headset, and where is the transceiver?!"

The agents looked at her, confused. The one less taken aback pointed to a small device "I believe it was Agent Chan who was-" Penny didn't wait for him to finish the sentence; she dashed over to the table and slammed down the button. "Mr. Chan, this is Penny. I need you to listen to me very carefully…"

* * *

Jade Nishimori was most definitely **_not_** okay. That EMP blast had shaken her; she had lost her composure, had felt an inexplicable surge of pure fury, a murderous wrath that threatened to consume her. It passed quickly, her usual demeanor asserting itself, her visage void of emotion. Shrugging off Frankie's concern, she ignored her pounding headache and refocused on the mission. "No point in sneaking around now; they know something's wrong. Remember, the jade is the priority." Acknowledging their agreement with a nod, she opened the door wide and sprinted in and to the right, over to the display where the jade now sat in near-darkness. Slipping on her knuckles, she smashed the case with a jab and handed the large gem to Newby.

* * *

_A short while ago and an even shorter distance away…_

Jackie had just managed to turn the outdated radio on when a burst of static nearly made him drop him. "Mr. Chan, this is Penny. I need you to listen to me very carefully. The M.A.D. agents have infiltrated the grounds and are in the northwest sector, in the Hall of Exuberance, just north of your position. The agents used an EMP, so you're the only one I was able to tell." Left unsaid was the fact that he would have no backup, but Jackie wasn't about to give up this prime opportunity to capture M.A.D.'s top agent. "I'm on it. See if you can cordon off the area."

"…be careful, Mr. Chan." Stowing his radio on his belt, Jackie took stock of position and ran off, preparing his mind for a fight.

* * *

Frankie already had all his equipment packed and ready to go by the time Jade and Newby came out, Newby grunting a little under the weight of the jade. He grinned and they started making their way towards their exit. Jade was almost out of the courtyard when she heard a rough, accented voice call out. "Hey, you there, stop! You are under arrest, charged with committing acts of terrorism against the international community!"*6 She looked at Newby. "Go. I'll hold them off." He nodded and went after Frankie.

Jade turned and faced the man, sizing him up. He was taller than she was (but then again, almost everyone was), and had a muscular build, but the light wasn't good enough for her to make out his features. She flicked her head to the side, and an audible crack could be heard throughout the small square. She took a deep breath, lowered her center of gravity, and sprinted across the yard.

* * *

Jackie had arrived in the square just as the agent was leaving. He called out and the agent turned around, staring him down. With a start of surprise, he realized that the agent was a woman. Before he could think about that fact, she snapped her head to the side, crouched, and sprinted towards him.

She closed the distance with unnerving speed, leaving Jackie with just enough time to fall into a solid stance as she sprang into the air and performed two rapid somersaults, whipping out her leg at the last moment to smash into his shoulder. Only his years of training and experience allowed him to dodge, her foot pounding the ground with a loud thud. He no time to admire the technique, raising his knee to block a spinning roundhouse-and was shocked he was nearly knocked off balance. His assailant recovered quickly, lashing out with a series of kicks and punches. She whipped out a hand at his face, and he moved to the side and caught it in his palm-an action he instantly regretted. He lunged out with a high sidekick and she flipped backwards, awarding him a brief respite. He shook out his hand and blew on it-did she have brass knuckles on? Dangerous.

* * *

Jade had charged the man with the intent of taking him down with a single blow. She went for the aerial axe kick; it was flashy, but effective. To her surprise, the man dodged it, and then blocked the roundhouse follow-up. She went after him with the intent of pummeling him, but he managed to fend off almost every single blow, with none of them landing true. He had hurt his hand attempting to grab her fist, but he had stopped her from pressing the advantage. This was troublesome. The longer she took here, the better the chance reinforcements would arrive and make things even more difficult.

With that in mind, she again rushed her opponent.

* * *

Jackie was in a bad spot. The agent was fast and strong, and obviously had years of practice in many different styles. He was probably stronger, but she was better than he was, and it was telling. After the first bout, she had attacked him again, this time with a variety of techniques, an unstoppable barrage of strikes that challenged his stamina. He parried a backhanded strike, standing face to face with his attacker. The features seemed familiar, somehow. _"Jade…?"_ He saw a blow coming and went to block it, only to notice too late that it was a feint. There was a stabbing pain in his abdomen and he went down.

* * *

Jade increased the pace and ferocity of her attacks, looking for an opening. The man parried her attack and then they were staring at each other. He had Asian features (probably Chinese), but they were filled out, most likely due to living overseas.*7 She threw a punch and saw him hesitate, just for a split second, but that was all she needed. She let loose with vertical punch to his midsection, and felt an odd sense of satisfaction as he crumpled to the ground in pain. She could kill him, but she had wasted enough time. She saw another plainclothes emerge from the alleyway in between two buildings. Her primary means of escape was no longer possible-one of them could follow her and find where the other two had gone; she had to go with plan B. She was not looking forward to it.

Darting across the courtyard, she tore through the other man violently (she doubted he would be walking anytime soon) and made her way towards her secondary escape route.

* * *

Jackie got up, groaning, and saw the M.A.D. agent finish off one of the taskforce agents and run off through the alleyway. Shaking himself off, he went off after her, stopping briefly to check the agent's vitals.

Jackie caught up to her a minute later, thanks to an unlucky agent getting in her way. Seeing him, she paused for a second, then turned and ran…directly towards a dead end. Jackie thought he had her, but she jumped on some crates, off a statue, and onto the rooftops. Jackie followed suit, chasing her across the tiled roofs, then onto the outer wall.

* * *

Jade glanced behind her. The man was good, managing to chase her throughout half the length of the city, but that would soon change. Jumping across the main gate (she noticed a large man look up at her crossing), she pulled a small device from her belt and primed it. She might not have much in the way of emotions, but like any being, survival was precedence. Looking at her watch, she steeled herself and leapt off the wall, pressing the button precisely 1.7 seconds afterwards. There was a slight delay, then there was a loud boom and her vision was obscured by a fine dust propelled by a powerful wind.

* * *

Jackie had just cleared the gate when he saw the agent leap from the wall to…nothing. The wall was easily thirty feet high, not a safe fall by any standards. Then, just moments later, the ground underneath the agent exploded upwards, the dust cloud hiding her from view as she fell into it. Jackie couldn't help it; his mouth fell open in genuine amazement. He was shaken out of his stupor by Tohru's voice beneath him. "What is it, Jackie, what's going on?"

Jackie just shook his head and said, quite simply. "I lost her."

A minute later found Jackie and Tohru walking towards the spot where the smoke was coming from. As they watched, the smoke began to clear, revealing a large hole in the ground. Chanting a short spell (hey, his flashlight was broken), Tohru manifested a bright orb that he tossed into the opening. Even with the glow, Jackie could barely make out two glints of metal running parallel to each other.

He cursed under his breath. "The subway."

* * *

_Two minutes earlier…_

Jade fell into the explosion, shielding her face with her arms. _"Yet another practical use of leather.*8"_…though she doubted that "useful for protecting against shrapnel from explosions" would make a great advertising campaign. The force of the explosion slowed her descent enough that she managed to land without injury, breaking her fall with a roll. She knew that the dust from the explosion would mask the hole for a while, but she couldn't count on it. Racing through the tunnel, she counted through the exits. Reaching the third one, she quickly clambered up the ladder and smacked the lid twice in quick succession, then repeated the process a second time. There was a scraping sound, and the lid came off, pulled by two M.A.D. henchmen. The receptionist from the inn motioned her over to an alley. "Right through here and take a left-there's a car waiting for you." Waving a hand in recognition, Jade jogged off, vanishing into the darkness.

* * *

The older woman watched her go, giving a mental shake of her head. _"They keep getting younger every year…"_ Shrugging, she motioned for her two underlings to put the lid back on, then signaled to a waiting truck. The driver parked so that the back wheel rested on the subway opening, effectively sealing off Jade's escaped route.

Getting out, the driver joined the others in an Audi a8*9 and took off, leaving behind nothing but a lone newspaper skittering along the ground in the occasional eddy.

[End Chapter 11]

Okay, so this took a while, and I cut it a bit short (yeah yeah, sue me), but you'll notice that it is significantly longer than many of my previous chapters (I count only story content, not my addendums and etc.). This one was over 3000 words, which I believe is a new personal record.

As per usual, please notify me of any mistakes, glaring or otherwise-whether it be grammatical or technical in nature. They will be fixed/explained as needed. Any other questions, just leave them in a comment of PM me, you know the drill.

Did you enjoy the explosion? They _are_ so much more fun than implosions (and a lot easier to make!).

For the next chapter: stuff will happen (I suspect Jade will be returning to M.A.D. headquarters, and Jackie will stay on a bit to assist in the investigation until he gets a lead...maybe). To be honest, I don't really know what I'm going to write until I do, so your guess is as good as mine (except that I have superb inductive reasoning skills, so probably not :P).

Th-th-th-th-that's all, folks!

**Funny story: I thought that I had already used this chapter title, but apparently I had saved it (woot). Here is the title that almost was: Jaded Jackie Jars Jade's Jade...I'm not lame. Really, I'm not. …shut up. Also, me nough gots unwell grammair (see what I did there?); "jar" is a verb: to shake something abruptly; to clash; physical jolt; act of knocking against something with a sudden blow. In other words, it works with my penchant (read: obsession) for alliterative phrases. It's actually quite clever if you can see past the ludicrousness of it all ("shut up, Vladimir, you're crazy." "Oh yeah, voices in my head? _You're _crazy! Hah, take that!").

***Obviously, nothing is "instantaneous", but many things may have the appearance of being so, the most common being light and almost any form of electromagnetic radiation. As a tamer example, think of the time from when the trigger of a gun is pulled to when it hits. Though the effects are far from immediate, the time in which it occurs (if the person is 10 meters (30 feet) away, the bullet will enter their body under 1/30th of a second later. To compare, the fastest human reaction speeds are greater than 1/10th of a second, so the bullet could hit you, return to the gun, and come back and hit you again before you even noticed being hit-and that's only if you are an exceptional specimen, most people have reaction times in the 1/5th of a second range). To sum up, I am not saying that causality and the time-space continuum have been destroyed, just that it happened really fast.

****An EMP, for those very few fiction (especially sci-fi) readers who don't know, is short for Electro-Magnetic-Pulse. An EMP essentially short-circuits any hard-wired (solid-state) electronics, rendering them useless. Older tech that isn't solid-state would be unaffected, as well as anything that has been "EMP-proofed", such as many of the newer military technologies (vehicles and communications especially). As the human brain is a giant computer system (though a very sophisticated one, with obvious biological factors), a powerful enough EMP can disrupt the natural function of the brain. In reality, an EMP needs a massive (massive as in amount of energy, not actual size, though it usually correlates) power source to be as powerful as the one I have described, but whatever. It could be nuclear powered for all you know (I had it "blow up" Jackie's phone as an indicator of magnitude. Way overkill if it starts to affect your brain, but better safe than sorry, neh?).

*****Yeah, the routers in the vicinity would be fried, but Penny has something quite similar to a 4G device; hers is bigger, but better, with ~1Gbps download speed and a little less than half that uploading. Again (I have mentioned this before, right?), I'm not that technically savvy, but anyone is will know that those speeds are ridiculous (by at least two orders of magnitude), and that I am even more so.

*6 As many of you may know, Miranda rights (or any rights, for that matter) do not apply when an individual/organization is suspected of terrorism (Think Patriot Act). Therefore, Jackie doesn't have to "give them their rights" as it were. Interesting tidbit: for international criminals, the country with the most grievous crime committed against it, the criminal's nation of origin, and the one who catches them all like to claim "dibs" to prosecute them. Sometimes this ends up with the criminal having to serve multiple terms in different countries. So think about that when you commit crimes-where would you rather serve your time? Of course, if you're a terrorist, it's mostly a choice between a gulag and a dark pit :/

*7 I am not an expert or anything, but have you noticed that Asians who grow up in Asia are usually skinnier than Asians who grow up in the U.S. (or maybe it's that America known for it's plethora of fat people)? There are exceptions: my Vietnamese friend eats mostly traditional Vietnamese food, and looks practically the same as he did when he came here what….seven years ago? How time flies when you're realizing that it is simply a construct that allows us to comprehend the natural order of things.

*8 Yes, Jade wears a leather jacket. She got tired of buying new clothes all the time (bloodstains are a bitch to get out), so she decided that leather was the most rational choice: it's durable, comfortable, and (in her case anyways) waterproof. In fact, she just got it back from the cleaners yesterday (story time...and by that I mean time as it occurs in the story, not that I am going to tell you a short, disgustingly sweet story with a happy ending and a lesson of morality). I normally dislike it when I'm reading a story and the author goes on and on describing the clothing of different characters, but in this case it's actually relevant to the story. However, if you want a wardrobe-type description, I can probably put one in (if not, just assume it is badass-whatever your version of badass may be. Neon rainbow frills with polka dots? …okay, that may clash with the jacket, but whatever. Could you imagine a straight-faced villain wearing that sort of thing? Seems more Harley Quinn).

*9 Okay, I am not a car person, and for those of you who also know nothing about cars, it's not really important (an average "short" car, like a sedan, I guess). Just know that it is a fairly common car in Beijing, K?


	13. Bonus Chapter

Suddenly, a wild Reader appears!

Go, Vladimir!

Vladimir uses Lame Excuse!  
It's not very effective.

Reader uses Dashed Expectations!

Vladimir uses Bonus Chapter!

...sorry for taking so long to post anything. This is mostly a "hello, I'm still alive" type of thing.

So, this is a bonus chapter, and not plot-relevant to the story. I was going to put this into the beginning of the next chapter, but realized it was a bit long, so I decided to post it now. You don't even have to read it, but if you have some time to kill, you might as well :P

Task Force

_A few Years Ago…_

Augustus Black (Captain), director of an enigmatic and furtive government held institution, was judgmentally known by leery men as a nuisance. One person questioned the reality of the section-head's testimony, understanding that its validity would "X-out" yore zealotry*.

For a long time, Captain Black had tried to get his superiors to acknowledge the existence of magic, but his claims had been ignored…until now. A high-ranking official within the government had actually been involved in a magic-related incident, and had ordered an inquiry to see if it was all just a hoax or not. Calls were made, and the details were eventually handed over to the CSI, who quickly assembled a team to investigate. After signing some waivers (ix-nay on disseminating information to the public), the group was sent to Section 13 in a timely manner, and affirmed that there was indeed compelling evidence for "magic". Over the years, various teams had been sent to assess the magical aspects of Black's job, but it usually went smoothly.

* * *

_Now…_

A new president had been sworn in recently, and one of the many tasks that she** had to take over was the approval of various budgets. Sitting in her office (yes, the chair is _exactly_ as comfortable as it looks); she was leaning back with her feet propped up on the desk, reading through proposals, when she came to the one for Section 13. Now, most of the time, decisions on whether or not to continue various programs were fairly easy to make (comparatively speaking). Most funding enacted by previous presidents survived for long periods of time due to strong partisan support, though the OMB*** would still fulfill its duties as inspector of the budget, earmarking potential changes and sorting requests by relevance, among other things. However, there are those few programs that none but the uppermost tiers of government have clearance to see, and that only the president can sign off on (more than you might think); it was in this pile that The Honorable Rachel Jones found the request for continued funding for an agency that dealt with-she stared at the page for a few seconds-magic. "The hell….?" Perusing the document more carefully, she saw signed affidavits from various government employees and civilian specialists corroborating the outrageous claim. Flipping through the file, she found nothing of import there-most likely for security reasons. Leaning over, she pressed a button on her desk; almost immediately, a SS agent popped her head in, hand straying to her weapon**** as her eyes scanned the room for potential threats (it was practically second nature to them).

"Special Agent Lin."

"Yes, Sir?"*5

"Send Albert in, please."

"Right away, Sir." The agent began speaking into her communicator as she ducked out of the room. Jones spent the next few minutes contemplating the file, but was broken out of her thoughts by the intercom buzzing. "Mr. Denial is here to see you."

"Yes, yes; send him in."

The door opened to reveal an elderly gentleman who exemplified the term "dapper". Albert Denial, in spite of his rather unfortunate last name, had been appointed as the White House's administrator in 1984, and was so good at his job; no on saw fit to replace him. Although he was not technically a bureaucrat, very few things happened in the White House of which he was not aware. He had top-level security clearance (and was required to take an annual psych evaluation), and was there to answer any questions the President might have (unofficially, of course). Jones and Denial got along well, him being a former military man himself.

"Madam President; to what do I owe the honor?"

Jones was not one to tarry with words. "Albert, I need to know what credence you place in Section 13's claims. How reliable is this information?"

Denial hesitated for a moment before replying. "The incident came up right before the previous president's second term-a high ranking official had demanded an inquiry, and he got it. The report stated that there were several objects there that seemed to be either magical or an extremely advanced technology, as they seemed to ignore basic laws physics. The head of the division-a Captain Black-stated that these were not the most dangerous pieces, and that he had recruited civilian specialists in order to track down and contain these items, but he needed funding for research and technology in order to keep ahead of the 'competition'. He was reluctant to relay any more information, but after a couple more reviews with similar results, the president agreed to increase his funding with the hopes that this 'magic' could be put to practical use, militarily or otherwise. So, to answer your question: I am skeptical, but the evidence comes from credible sources, thus I am inclined to believe it."

Jones closed her eyes and flopped back in her chair. She sighed, then sat back up; pinching the bridge of her nose in annoyance, she held up her hand as if to ward off the enormity of the situation. A minute passed before she regained her composure. "So."

"So." Denial replied.

"Magic is real."

"To the extent of my knowledge, yes."

"I want to see it myself," Before Denial could give a dissenting opinion, she continued. "but I realize that scheduling a trip to San Francisco, especially at a time like this*6, is far more risk than it's worth. I see here that my predecessor sent a team from the CSI; I happen to know one of the members on the executive council." She reached for her phone, only to have it ring. Picking it up, she listened to someone on the other end, checked her watch, then-cursing under her breath a little-she grabbed a pen and scribbled on the back of an official document. "Here, this is the information on a Dave Thomas. Tell him to get someone-maybe Genie-and go and check this out. He's a civilian, but I can vouch for him, so just do whatever needs to be done."

Albert Denial nodded succinctly as Jones rushed out of the room. "Very well, Madam President."

* * *

Dave Thomas, an eccentric yet highly respected physicist, was in his classroom juggling an assortment of fruit when an administrator poked his head in. "Um…professor? There's someone here to see you."

"Oh really? Who? Is it important?"

"…yes. Very. They're waiting for you in your office, whenever you're ready."

Excusing himself from the room, Prof. Thomas walked the short distance to his office, wondering who could be waiting there. To his great surprise, two men wearing reflective sunglasses and earpieces stood upon his entrance, the older one extending a hand to him while simultaneously pulling out a badge. "Special agent Briggs, Secret Service. This here is my partner, Special agent Thorn." The other man simply nodded and pulled out a small scanning device. Whisking it thoroughly over Thomas' body, he checked a small readout screen before declaring, "He's clean".

The professor, to his credit, was only marginally flabbergasted. "Uh…am I in some kind of trouble?"

The agent was quick to reassure him. "No, nothing of the sort. Quite the opposite, in fact: we have an assignment for you-special order from the president."

"Wha-…Rachel? I haven't seen her since that party…must have been over a year ago, what with the campaigning and all. So what's the assignment?"

Agent Briggs shrugged, "I have no idea; we don't have the clearance to know that. We were sent here to tell you the following: the President wishes for you to investigate a certain matter. If you accept, you will go to D.C. and receive your briefing there. You will be compensated for your time, of course. The details are in here." The agent handed him a manila envelope, and after a reminder that the information should only be discussed with related parties, he bid him good day and left with his partner.

_A short while later…_

Thomas had been reading through the briefing quickly, looking through protocol standards and timetables, when something caught his eye. Apparently, he was allowed to bring a partner of similar status within the CSI along with him, granted they agree to the same terms and conditions. He thought of his colleagues within the committee, and his mind settled on almost instantly on a particular individual. A smile appeared unbidden on his face, and he went off to make his preparations.

* * *

Eugenie Scott stood in a sparse office, waiting for Albert Denial to show up. She glanced over at her fellow, Dave Thomas, who shrugged indifferently at her. Sighing, she sat down in one of the two leather chairs that faced a small black desk, relaxing into it. Though the only other furnishings in the room were a lamp and wooden chair, they were all of a masterful craftsmanship-and quite old, too—that lent the administrator's chamber a certain gravitas.

Her friend plopped down in the chair next to hers; he was getting a bit old to be plopping, but he had a quirky personality and was defiant of his age, prompting him to do things that were often labeled as "eccentric". She had just gotten back from a business trip when he had called her about a "super secret mission for Rachel", as he had put it. Her airfare was paid for and, since her overnight bag was already packed, she went to the capitol and met up with him. She smiled to herself-_"which one of us is the whimsical one, again?"_

Her musings were interrupted by the door opening soundlessly on its well-oiled hinges, revealing the occupant of the office followed by a slightly out of breath secretary. The administrator took a deep breath and entered the room, nodding to each doctor in turn. "Ah, Professor Thomas, how good of you to come; and you must be Doctor Scott—I've heard good things about you."

"Why, thank you, Mr. Denial, but could I ask that we get right down to _why_ we were called here."

"…of course. Your curiosity must have been riled up after the extensive amount of paperwork, so let's get down to business." Denial strode over to his desk and sat down, gesturing for his guests to do likewise. They waited as he took time to collect his thoughts; this was not the easiest subject to broach. The two doctors became visibly more attentive as he cleared his throat and began, his voice that of a storyteller.

"Ever since the dawn of time, man has had notion of power beyond that of mortals. Humans first acknowledged this power in the form of rites and rituals, hoping for protection and good fortune. Almost immediately, specialists appeared—those that claimed to have a connection to this power—who would demand tribute from their fellows in return for a plethora of benefits. This practice evolved into what we might call "religion", where instead of rites to influence power, there were now "beings of supernatural power". Deities sprung up, some religions having significantly more than others did, but the underlying sense of a power that was just…_more_ than what the average laymen had was still there."

"Now, these "specialists", have often been labeled as cunning manipulators who used the universal belief in the power to gain status, fame, and wealth—sometimes just for the feeling of being superior to others. However, there were those who wanted nothing more than to be able to harness the power they knew was there—that they _felt_ was there. For years they would study the world, building on each other's knowledge, striving to understand what it was that eluded them, to discover the mysterious formula that would allow them to unleash it."

"As you know, there is no such thing as magic. If I told you that it was possible for someone to fly, to destroy a building with their mind, to summon darkness to fight for them…you would find it laughable. You might question my sanity if I pressed on with such a belief."

Denial looked the duo (who were staring at him quizzically) pointedly in the eyes.

"You would also be dead wrong."

He paused, allowing the seriousness of his allegation to sink in. No outbursts were heard—though for Thomas it was because he was literally shocked speechless for a few moments. Scott was the first to recover.

"So, wait just a minute, are you…? Are you genuinely suggesting that magic is real?" She tried to keep the skepticism out of her voice, but it was difficult. Even though her position required her to have an open mind, this was a bit much.

Denial held up his hands placatingly. "If you would give me a moment to explain…?"

Taking their silence as acceptance, he went on. "There is a certain clandestine government installation operating out of San Francisco, referred to as Section 13. Their primary function is to monitor large criminal syndicates, especially one known as The Dark Hand. Around nine years ago, however, things started to get…interesting."

"Reports were filed on massive destruction of property, but the perpetrators had no visible weapons. There were violent fights, but the assailants reportedly 'disappeared' into thin air. An attempt was made to arrest Valmont, head of The Dark Hand, and several witnesses swore they saw a giant, fire-breathing lizard that walked like a man. Augustus Black, head of the section, violated quite a few sanctions to make a sudden trip to China, with quite the fantastical tale. Over the next few months his superiors got fed up with him and made it clear that he would lose his job if he didn't stop spouting off such ridiculous stories. They decided to send it up the line when every single one of his employees submitted a signed affidavit that their base had been compromised by ninjas that could 'appear from shadow'. The incident came to the eyes of the previous president, and he had the matter investigated. The investigators returned and confirmed his claims, showing extensive notes on small stone talismans in the shape of octagons that each possessed a frightening capability. The president sent in two more teams before he was convinced—section 13 now reports directly to the head of the DoD, and they have a significantly higher budget. In fact, they are in charge—unofficially of course—of any and all magic-related incidents around the world."

"I know that this is difficult to believe, but that's exactly why the president asked you to come. She's extremely busy right now, but the significance cannot be denied. The assignment is this: go to San Francisco, and see if there is any credence to the claims that magic exists. Do you accept?"

Scott and Thomas looked at each other for a long moment. This was crazy, and there were so many questions to be asked. The implications were enormous, and their decision could change history.

Turning to face Albert Denial, they spoke as one, with an odd gleam in their eyes and not a hint of hesitation in their voices.

"Of course we'll do it."

[End Bonus Chapter]

...It's Super Effective?

I'll probably write about the visit as well, but I needed to post something, or y'all might think that this turned into one of those "GoodIntroStrongCharacterDevelopmentAcceptAQuestJo urneyToFindTheHolyGrailHalfwayThereMyHorseDiedFoun dAReputableMapWalkingAcrossAMountainStop" stories, where you like it, but then it never gets updated after 20K words. That's all kinds of annoying.

I wish you all an extremely good day, readers old and new; until next chapter comes this way, I bid you all _"adieu"._

**Addendum:**

*(takes a bow) I don't expect a parade or anything, but a nod of appreciation would be nice. You've probably noticed that the beginning of the words in those two sentences make up the alphabet (granted you disregard a few verbs and prepositions). Do you know how many verbs start with the letter "x"? Six, including the letter itself (the one I used, since I doubt x-ray would have done well in the same situation).

**This is set in the JCA universe, which is slightly more advanced than our own (they have a plethora of directed-energy weapons). More advanced technology usually leads to greater equality (well, that has been the general trend so far, they may be unrelated for all I know, but I doubt it). Even then, it was only due to special circumstances (such as the assassination of the leading candidate by an Algerian terrorist organization…at least, they're the ones who took credit for it) that Rachel Jones (who, after attaining a B.S. in business and physics, went on to join the marines and gain the rank of gunnery sergeant before being commissioned as lieutenant colonel following a rather impressive "act of valor") was able to rally behind the national outrage and win the election. Despite ridicule from the obvious sources, overall support is rather high (perhaps due to an odd mix of conservative fiscal and defense policy with a healthy support of social programs). Whatever the case, I spent much too long on this character's background. Let it be known that I am not politically active enough for this to be my political view; in fact, I barely know anything about the current president, though I don't entirely trust him. He's too white XD. Enough joking, let's get back to the story.

***Office of Management and Budget (does most of the budget work and is the largest office within the Executive Office of the President). I wrote down what I assume they do, as I have no idea what actually goes on. It seems like it would make a good reality/game show, OMB: Make it or Break it-National Budget Edition (filmed in front of a live ostrich).

****People want to kill the president ALL THE DAMN TIME (the same goes for every leader of every country), regardless of whether or not they've actually _done_ anything yet.

*5As the president is the Commander in Chief of the military, it is appropriate to call the incumbent "Sir" despite their gender (a few fans will remember Sir Integra Wingates Hellsing, though apparently the proper term is "Dame", not "Sir"). Many military/law enforcement establishments will have superior officers referred to as "Sir", so Jones is probably used to it. I think of it as a rank title, but it would be inappropriate to call a woman without rank as "Sir".

*6There are a few reasons for her not going; security for one, as well as the acquired responsibilities of the president. Also, if you'll remember (if you read my addendum for her short back-story), the U.S. is on the brink of war (not all out WWIII-more along the lines of Afghanistan).


	14. Chapter 12

I bet you thought that the climax of the story would have occurred last (real) chapter, didn't you (oh, you didn't? I must have bought the low-quality wool by mistake XD). Don't worry; I'm terrible at endings, so I will most likely forego it for as long as possible…take that as you will.

Short recap: Claw sees a potential recruit in Jade Chan and sends a team to fetch her. Jade was walking along when she was kidnapped and turned into a (seemingly) emotionless assassin by M.A.D., who she now works for under the alias Jade Nishimori. Penny, a natural genius with computers, has been attempting to take down M.A.D. for years along with her cyborg/robotic "uncle" Inspector Gadget. Following a lead on a M.A.D. heist, Gadget meets up with Jackie (Jade's uncle) and goes with him so they can pool their resources. When they get to Uncle's (that's his name, but he's also Jackie's uncle…damn, there are a lot of uncles in here) antique shop, they find out that the object M.A.D. was attempting to steal was a powerful energy source. Penny shows up and informs them that there is a heist planned the following evening. Adjourning to section 13, the group goes to China to accost the M.A.D. agents (though captain black has to stay behind to deal with the CSI). Jade goes in with her team to steal a large jade egg, but is seen by Jackie. They fight; Jade manages to subdue him (after he hesitates from a twinge of recognition) and runs off, managing to escape with the use of a risky maneuver.

Huh. Not a lot actually happened, did it? Ah well, nothing I can do about it now. I have a rather erratic update schedule, but I will try to get this chapter out sooner rather than later...it's less than a month, does that count?

Note: This- ["_text_"] format will be used for the act of someone reading a book. (Spoiler: someone reads a book this chapter. So does someone else).

How boss is the new search system? Now I can _exclude_ genres (goodbye, romance). XD I got nothing against it, but everything in moderation, ya know?

Chapter 12

Regroup (aka Vantage Point)

_The following takes place between 12:00 am, and 1:00 am…_

Paperwork, was there anything less exciting? Actually, Jackie usually liked paperwork—it helped him to order his thoughts and calm down after a hectic mission—but today he just couldn't seem to get into it. There was something about her, the agent that had attacked him…she was so familiar, so similar to Jade. Even her attacks were reminiscent of his former niece, boundless energy directed by an intelligent mind with an intuitive grasp of combat. A sad smile appeared on his face as he remembered her audacious feats: kicking a grown man clear across a room, fighting with Valmont for a statue, even helping him face down the demon sorcerer Shendu. He had always tried to keep her safe, but it was a sad twist of fate that she had survived all of the magical craziness, just to end up another victim to the common criminal.

Jackie preferred to think of her in the past tense—even if she was alive, he shuddered to think what would have happened to her. He used to always think the best of people, give them the benefit of the doubt. He knew what kind of people lurked in the shadows: the lowest scum of the earth, those with no moral scruples, who sneered at things like age constriction or consent. Therefore, he had hoped for the best…that it had been quick and painless.

* * *

Miles away, a Jade who was decidedly _not_ dead was making her way towards a M.A.D.-owned airstrip. It was a bit out of the way, but it had security—and more importantly, privacy. After making her rather flashy escape, she had made her way back to the safe house to collect the jade and clean up any sign of her presence. Though the cleanup was usually left to the grunts, because they were the lowest on the proverbial food chain, Jade had realized that the grunts were also the most likely to squeal, being that they were the lowest on the proverbial food chain. So she spent half an hour collecting her files (burning the rest), and finished off by wiping down the tables and door handles. Satisfied that the room would show no trace of her under inspection, she packed up the jade, stuffed it into a backpack, and left, not bothering to check out.

Getting on an old Kawasaki that had been left for her, she contemplated the result of the mission. There were a few hitches in the execution; but overall, most people would have labeled the mission a success. Jade was not most people. That man had _seen_ her _face_, and he was _still alive_. She had taken painstaking care not to get caught on video during her entire career. She had left no witnesses, no one who could identify her…even within the organization itself, few people knew who she was (though there were rumors, of course).Frankly speaking, this was the first time she had been exposed; soon her face would be plastered up in airports, bus stations, and post offices. The sketch would be sent to Interpol, and anywhere she went, there would be people searching for her—which was why she had to skip the actual airport and take a damn cargo plane to the states.

If only she had killed that man…but no, there wasn't time…there was another agent coming, and more on the way…she hadn't hesitated, she had a legitimate reason to stop her attack…

…

…although, she had felt _something_. Something about him seemed familiar—the way he talked, the way he _fought_…

Jade dismissed the thought quickly. There had been that weird headache from the EMP blast, she had jumped into that directional blast, and then there were the effects of the adrenaline crash—she was sure she would be fine after a short nap.

* * *

Captain Black was not having a good day, but he had resigned himself to the fact that his choice of career was the epitome of Murphy's Law*. He had to supervise the CSI (there were some things that Black felt were too dangerous to show, such as the mask of Tarakudo), keep up with all the various operations being run, and give approval for orders (which consisted of "sign here…and here…and here"), all while making sure the China Op went smoothly (he hadn't received an update for a while—he was getting a bit worried). He was just finishing some ridiculous bureaucratic bullshitting when his com beeped, alerting him of the call right before it came in.**

"Black here, what's your status?"

"This is Broyles. There's been a…incident on site. The target*** set off an EMP device and managed to escape. Jackie's coming over to debrief, and we'll have a more comprehensive report in as soon as possible."

Black frowned, concern etched in his features. "Any casualties?"

"Johnson got roughed up pretty good, and Rodriguez…" Broyles sighed, "The medics said they'll do what they can, but it's not looking good."

It was Black's turn to exhale. "Anything else?"

"Actually, there's something. Jackie got a look at the agent's face. We may have a lead."

"Keep me posted." Black's mouth drew into a hard line. No one messed with his men. _No one_. There would be hell to pay when he finally caught the crazy lunatic, but until then, he had work to do.

* * *

Dr. Claw didn't manage to keep a multi-national criminal organization off the grid with luck—there were safeguards in place, backup plans for every venture. Hence, when their plan went awry, the three accomplices had known exactly what to do. Newby stayed for cleanup, keeping tabs on the authorities by implementing a cover so that he could report back on the damage. Jade cleaned out base-ops and hitched a cargo plane to the states with the item in tow.

Compared to those two, Frankie thought he got off easy. While Jade and Newby were incommunicado, Frankie took the first commercial flight to Japan, disembarked, and made his way to the nearest safe house. Once there, he popped open a Guinness and dialed the number for the M.A.D. information network. After confirming his identity three times in a row, and listening to crappy hold music for a few minutes, Gorin finally picked up the phone.**** "What is it?"

"This is Frankie calling in the jade heist. There were complications—the authorities must have been waiting for us; I noticed cameras and sensors on a separate network, and barely a minute after I broke in, an agent came after us. He only saw Jade, but he accosted her on the basis of suspected terrorism, which means they knew we were coming, or at least that someone was."

Gorin sat up, tension visible in his features, "Where's the jade now?" If the heist failed because he had inadequate information…

"On a cargo plane heading back to the states. She got a bit banged up, but I'm sure she'll be fine after a bit of rest."

"Wha…" was the safe-cracker actually _messing _with him right now? His voice unconsciously lowered half an octave, "_Fran-_kie!"

The other man chuckled. "Don't fret it, Gorin; Jade's got it, since she has to keep a low profile anyways."

Gorin gave a mental sigh of relief, though he was still a bit irritated. He hated Frankie's carefree attitude, but his skills were unparalleled, so the chief of intelligence just had to deal with it. "The update is appreciated, Agent Herbert. I shall inform Dr. Claw of the good news." He terminated the link before Frankie could respond.

A jaunty grin appeared on the felon's face. _"'Agent Herbert'? Looks like I pissed him off good this time."_ So what if the guy was the top information relay in the largest criminal organization on earth…he needed to lighten up a bit.

* * *

Penny sat, bored, as Jackie wrote up his report on her computer. At least she didn't have Broyles' job—trying to explain this to the Chinese authorities was going to be tough. Agents hurt, the jade stolen, and thousands of dollars in property damage (courtesy of the EMP). She wanted to be searching for more information, but she didn't have enough to work on. If only she knew what they were trying to accomplish, then she could find a way to stop them, but…

Her thoughts were disrupted as Brain ran in the door, a panicked look on his face.

"Brain? What's the matter?" Half a second later, a sudden realization struck her, "Where's Uncle Gadget?"

Brain crouched, simulating hiding, then stood up suddenly and waved his hand in the air, shouting a few unintelligible words that sounded uncannily like Gadget. Continuing with what looked to be an intense game of charades, he ran his fingers across his palm, and then threw out his hand as if to stop someone from leaving. He imitated Gadget again and jumped in place before shading his eyes with his hand, as if looking at something flying through the air. He mimicked running, and a short while later, exhaustion. He turned to Penny and shrugged helplessly.

_"…so, Uncle Gadget saw something and ran off, outrunning Brain by using his some ridiculous jumping gadget."_ She broke down Brain's meaning quickly, years of working together making their odd mix of non-verbal and verbal communication second nature to her. "Did you see which way he went?"

Brain put a hand underneath his chin, thinking about it. He turned a few degrees to the left, orienting himself, then pointed towards a section on the wall on Penny's right. She tuned her own internal compass, "Northeast, huh? I wonder what's over there?" She hurried over to Jackie, intending to ask for the use of her computer so that she could find her wayward Uncle, when an entirely different Uncle burst into the room. All eyes turned to look as the door banged loudly against the wall, and there stood Uncle, a deadly serious look on his face.

* * *

["_Our own flags should be substituted for those of the enemy, and the chariots mingled and used in conjunction with ours. The captured soldiers should be kindly treated and kept. This is called, using the conquered foe to augment one's own strength._"] A buzz on his intercom caused Dr. Claw to look up from his reading. "Gorin here to see you, sir."

Claw put a bookmark into his copy of _The Art of War_ and dropped it on his desk before calling Gorin in. The intelligence officer walked directly to his desk, a green folder in his hand. "Sir. I have the preliminary report on the jade extraction mission."

"Proceed."

"Agent Nishimori's team arrived at the location without incident, but the authorities had a trap set up. Fortunately, the jade was retrieved, and none of our agents was captured. However, Nishimori was seen and was forced to take extreme measures to escape. Herbert informed me that she is on her way with the jade now—she took emergency route Beta—while Newby stayed behind to gather more information." Gorin steeled himself for what he knew would come next.

Claw's voice was low, dripping with menace, "If I am understanding this correctly, you mean to say that this plan, which was only revealed to my most trusted agents, was somehow made known to the Chinese government? Do we have a leak in our information network, Gorin?"

The man gulped nervously, "I checked everything with everyone, sir, but I didn't uncover anything definite. If someone got our information, they would have to be either really good, or…"

"…we have a mole. If we _do_ have a leak, find it and plug it. If it's from our side…" the shadows around Claw's face seemed to darken, "I'll have to make an example of them."

Gorin gave a short nod and left quickly; behind him, the features of Mad Cat were twisted in apoplectic rage.

* * *

Uncle had left the bustle of the operations room for the small room study down the hall. It was windowless, stuffy, and dim—just the way he liked it. He had been busy translating texts when the lights went out suddenly, plunging the room into total darkness. Tsking and shaking his head, he pulled out a few candles from his bag and, uttering a few ancient words, lit them. Satisfied with the change in atmosphere, he went back to his books, but was barely 15 minutes in before he started having trouble with a certain section. "_Hmmm…Mineral of expedition? No, not quite right. The rock of beneficial health? It's still off...Stone of unlimited potential?"_ "Aiyaaaah! What is Uncle missing?"

He was interrupted from his abstraction by a knock on the door, followed by a Section 13 agent. "The girl said you might need this." He said, handing Uncle a printout. "This is what the M.A.D. agent stole."

Uncle grabbed the paper out of his hands. On the top was a picture of a large piece of jade. Underneath it ran a description: [_"Lot 19382B. This massive jadeite gemstone was found at the northernmost tip of the Henan province in 1978, and was given to the Palace Museum after touring the country for two years. Zheng Zhenxiang*5, the archaeologist who discovered it, has led a distinguished career as the first female archeologist in China. After discovering Fu Hao's tomb in 1976 (who was coincidentally the first female general in Chinese history), she went on to discover thousands of lost artifacts before officially retiring a few years ago. She has kept busy, however, and is still regarded as one of the topmost archaeologists in China. In an interview last year, we asked her about the circumstances that led to this…"_] Uncle had read enough. He sat, deep in thought, as he pondered at the jadeite's importance. _"What would they want with a gemsto-"_ His eyes widened as it suddenly hit him. Of course, the correct translation was "Gem of Power". He smiled, happy for a brief moment, before he grasped the translation's true meaning. _"Oh, no; it shouldn't be possible…it _can't_ be."_ A grim look appeared on his face, and he marched over to the planning room, the guard in front of the door giving him a nod which he barely even noticed. Slamming the door open, he waited until everyone's attention was on him.

His somber voice pervaded the sudden silence. "I know what he's is planning."

[End Chapter 12]

Dun dun DUUUUUUUUNNNNN!

Yeah, I just did that. Also, I hate typing the word "archaeologist".

Hey, I think I'm changing things up a bit, b/c if you noticed, I'm writing out expressions and etc. next to what would normally be unaccompanied dialogue. Tell me if you think it's okay, or perhaps a little too much? The flow is everything, and to feel the flow you must have midi-chlorians…I mean experience. Yeah…experience.

_Next time, on A M.A.D. Heir_: Actually, I got two ideas. Either we have an entire chapter with The Professor, or I make more stuff blow up (and perhaps throw in a bit of that plot stuff I've been hearing so much about).

To be honest, I have no conception of what that machine is going to do. I know that it will involve Jade, and that it will consume a massive amount of power and quite likely be incredibly destructive, but I don't have the mechanics sorted out yet. Anybody have a crazy idea? B/c I would like to hear it. Seriously. I'm practically begging here. I'll even give you fan-service. Come on, you know you want to...

**Addendum:**

*: Murphy's Law—anything that _can_ go wrong, will go wrong.

**: The Section 13 com links are encrypted to the extent where even Penny would have a hard type listening in on them. The reasons for this are threefold. 1) It is a secure black ops division of the government. 2) The material discussed is _extremely_ classified (for obvious reasons). 3) Captain Black is paranoid (though to be fair, he does have cause to be).

***: The on-site team doesn't have all their facts together yet. Broyles just managed to get a call in after receiving a site-rep from Jackie (he has a radio, remember?) and getting his spare com-set to work (commanding officers carry an extra com that is proofed with magic—courtesy of Uncle—as magical incidents are not uncommon).

****: Yeah, I know you've probably forgotten. It's been a while. He's the intelligence guy from the second chapter, remember? (It's ok if you don't). See the Timeline(ish) chapter for more info if you feel like it. Never say I'm not an accommodating writer :P

*5: Everything in this little section is true, except for the part about the giant piece of jadeite and the random interview (though she has been interviewed before). She really was the first female Chinese archaeologist (and one of the first Chinese archaeologists, period); she really did find Fu Hao's tomb, who really is the first documented female Chinese general, and she really did retire (officially, anyways).


End file.
